What is Essential
by Buckeye2005
Summary: AU/What If; "But if you tame me, then we shall need each other." In which Kate lives and Ziva and Tony make a connection. Ziva POV and Tony POV mostly. Don't like it, don't read it. Multi-chapter. Other characters appear here and there. Title is from "The Little Prince."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Not usually a fan of 'what if'/AU types, but I have always been fascinated by a world where Kate is alive and Tony/Ziva still somehow meet. Kind of inspired by a rewatch of "Life Before His Eyes." This will be a slow fic probably not updated a lot. I'm still figuring it out.**

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"So you're working for us now."

"With you," she instantly corrects, leaning back in her chair, her legs crossing elegantly, despite the heavy cargo pants and boots she wore. There was a very trim body hidden somewhere in that baggy clothing, he thought, remembering the night at the hotel pool. She almost slipped one by him there, with the passports. Then she'd talked to him outside while he was waiting for her to leave. He'd been pissed that she'd made him, but then thought it just went to show how well trained she was. At least it was a Mossad officer who caught him and not some low-level street punk.

He narrowed his eyes at her. He didn't need another partner. He had Kate and he had McGee. A third person was going to throw off their dynamics. "So what are you supposed to do that we can't live without? You can't replace Kate, it's impossible."

Very slowly she moved to her side, taking out a knife. His eyes widened at the size of that thing. How did she keep that hidden without the slightly indication it was there. "How big is yours?" she drawled, running her fingers along the blade.

"Now, now Ziva, don't scare the man."

He choked when the new Director walked into the conference room, breaking their back and forth. "Director," he coughed. "We were just…ah…"

"I don't want to know," Gibbs said instead, gesturing for them to leave. "Go. I have to talk to the Director here." He very pointedly emphasized the syllables in 'director' and Jenny only smiled, amused. He pointed to the door. "Out. DiNozzo, you have things to do and you…" He glared at Ziva. "Well I don't know what you're still doing in this country."

There was a flicker of hurt in the other woman's eyes, but she hid it instantly. "I am the new liaison." She said liaison the way it was supposed to be pronounced, like it was French or something. She glanced at Jenny. "You did not tell him?"

"We've been discussing that. I'll be with you both momentarily, if you'll wait outside," Jenny said, maintaining politeness and composure.

Whatever, he thought, walking by Gibbs who barely tilted his head in the directon of the Mossad Officer. Got it Boss, he thought, closing the door behind him. The minute it clicked shut, he heard both of them start screaming at each other, Jenny yelling about how dare he talk to her like that in front of her subordinates. Well, that's my place in the pecking order, he figured. Except Gibbs ranked above the NCIS Director at the end of the day for him. He walked after Zi-va, taking notice of her gait. She was very direct. "Stop looking at my ass."

"I wasn't looking at your ass," he instantly lied. It was a very nice ass. Couldn't help but be looked at. He gestured to her, making an hourglass shape with his hands as they walked down the steps to the squad area. "I'm just thinking if there's a point in this movie where all the bulky clothes come off to reveal the swan within."

"If that is your way of trying to get me naked, you are sadly out of luck." She spun around on him when they got to his desk and tapped her fingers up his chest to his nose, grinning. Her voice dropped to a soft purr. The accent was killing him. He was such a sucker for the accents. The dark eyes too. Man, they were like pools of melted chocolate. "Unfortunately I do not sleep with men once the mission is over and they are no longer my mark. Unless I believe they could keep up and…well…" She snapped her teeth at him, growling. "I just do not think you could Tony."

"I could keep up," he croaked.

She grinned again. "Let me see your knife."

Was that a euphemism? "In the squad area?" he laughed, still smiling down at her. She blinked. Oh wait, she actually wanted to see his knife. "Oh well…" He reached to his pocket, where the switchblade was concealed. "A guy doesn't just go showing his knife to crazy Israeli chicks with impulse issues unless he gets her to go to dinner first."

"Too bad." She waltzed over to Kate's desk and dropped into the chair, propping her feet up on it and folding her hands in her lap. "So how is your partner? Is she out of the hospital?"

So we're done or….he frowned at her sudden change of demeanor. Now she was all business, professional, and the hot exotic sex kitten thing was trapped back up beneath the Army clothing she wore. "Uh…she's fine," he said, leaning against his desk, sizing up this chick. There were some major issues beneath her surface. Big ones, if he had to hazard a guess. Anyone who volunteered for Israeli Mossad and ended up in her position, at her age, she couldn't even be 30, he supposed they had to be a bit on the crazy side. "She's at home, resting. Her family flew in to help her." Kate had been furious that the hospital kept her longer than they usually did, later finding out it was because Gibbs didn't want her to try and get involved in the search for Ari.

That had been fun, going to visit her in her apartment with her screaming at him to let her go kill the son of a bitch who shot her. Then he'd made fun of her and called her a penguin because they had her left shoulder where the bullet and shot through all bandaged up and wrapped in a bulky sling with cushions all around it to keep it immobilized. She'd grabbed the nearest object, which had been a water bottle, and hurled it at him. That was the Kate he knew and sometimes loved. Ziva had asked if they were romantic, very point blank and matter-of-fact. He'd had to admit that no, it wasn't, and although he'd fanaticized about it enough, he knew he wasn't Kate's type. She saw him as the annoying brother and he tended to enjoy filling that role. "Oh, well good," she'd said to him. "Because I don't like competing."

There was quite a shift from that version of Ziva to the one that had come into the office after Ari was shot in Gibbs's house, and then to the one upstairs to the one here now with him. Even the Ziva that was outside in the hotel entryway, with the rain falling down, telling him about how her sister died in a suicide bombing. It didn't take him long to figure out what she told him about her family and what he'd gleaned from the report, Gibbs's shift in demeanor with her, and the tears she'd shed as Ari's body was wheeled into autopsy. He was related to her. Her brother. What kind of a person could shoot their brother? The agency above all else, Ducky had told him, Mossad was the first priority. The State of Israel was the first priority. Family had no business getting involved with that.

He didn't know why she had come back. She'd left with the body, flown back to Israel, and now here she was again. He squinted at her. "Liaison. How does Mossad help NCIS?"

"I suppose we will find out."

"If Gibbs lets you."

"Gibbs is not Director Shepard."

"Yeah well, he tends to get what he wants." He smirked at her. "And you are just going to be in his way."

"We shall see."

He tried a different tactic. "So how do you know the Director? Old buddies?"

"We were together in Cairo when I was stationed there," Ziva said, tapping her fingers on her stomach. She smiled again. "She is a very good agent. I hope you find her to be as good as a director."

"Why liaison? Why come here?"

"I needed a break from Mossad." She leaned back in the chair and looked up at the skylights, her voice very faraway. "It was how do you say…becoming a mixer."

A mixer? He thought for a few minutes. "Pressure cooker."

"Whatever kitchen device." She glanced over at him again and the self-assured look she had a moment before had faded. "I do hope your partner can return to work soon."

"Few weeks. She has some physical therapy. Has to pass medical tests that sort of thing." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Why are you so curious about my partner?"

"No reason. I know what it is like to be without a partner you have worked closely with for some time. It is difficult."

"Your partner ever get injured?"

She was fiddling with her knife, flicking it open and shut. This was a different knife now, a switchblade other than the giant carving knife she'd practically dragged out a moment before. "Hmmm? Oh yes, injured…killed…one of them we found pieces of all over Yemen." She glanced at his horrified look and shrugged, whispering. "Such is the nature of being Mossad. You do not get close to your partners."

Wow. He was once again glad that Kate had seen the flash from Ari's sniper rifle and jumped aside, yelling for them to dive down. The shot had gone through her shoulder, nicking an artery and nerve. It also explained a lot about how cavalier she'd been. Even with Ari. He guessed if you lost people a lot or did her job, you didn't get close to anyone. He frowned at her again. "So you came to the United States for a break."

"Yes."

"Well we'll see if you can survive it, even if Gibbs lets you."

"I have survived starvation and dehydration in the desert for two months." She smirked. "I can handle a former Marine."

"Well you'll get your shot." They both jumped up as Gibbs walked around the corner, glaring at her. He jabbed his finger in her chest. "If you screw up anything your ass is on the first plane back to Tel Aviv, do you understand me?"

"Yes," she said, trying hard not to smile.

"You are only here temporarily until this agent," he said, slamming his hand on the desk. "Is cleared for full field duty. Then it's back to the Embassy."

"Yes."

Well look at that, he thought, his eyebrows lifting. Gibbs caved. Or Jenny managed to convince him. Either way, impressive. He watched as Ziva got up, following Jenny upstairs when she called for her from the balcony. He whistled low under his teeth. "Wow Boss. You're actually letting her? She doesn't know anything about crime scenes or law enforcement, I mean you should have seen the size of her knife…"

"DiNozzo."

He shut his mouth. "Yes?"

Gibbs glanced up over the top of his computer, then moved away from his desk, having finishing writing whatever it was he'd needed to scribble down. He snagged his coffee cup from the corner and jabbed it at him as he walked by, warning. "Rule 12."

Rule 12? What was that one? "Always carry a knife, Boss?" he called out, as Gibbs walked away from him.

"Never date a coworker," he shouted from the elevator.

Never date a coworker. Yikes. Hadn't heard that one in a long time, not since Kate's first week. Then again he never really tried to go that route because he was terrified of her. This one though. Wow. Scared him to death with her knife and her crazy eyes and…he trailed off, smiling to himself. Didn't matter. She wouldn't be here long anyway. Gibbs would scare her off, Kate would return, and besides…he whistled again and turned around, talking to himself. "Crazy Israeli chicks just aren't my type, Boss."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This story is a definite WIP for me. I hope everyone is in character given their point at this time in the show- will deviate here and there but use big moments as anchors. Enjoy and thank you for the reviews.**

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The final box dropped from her arms onto the few others sitting beside her door, ready for the movers to pick them up. They were bound for a cargo plane that would ship them and her Mini to Tel Aviv. She ran her hand over the top of the box, staring at the writing on the top. 'Pictures.' She sighed, closing her eyes briefly and then stepping away from them. She did not travel with many things. Objects were only materials. There were about six boxes with items she could not part with each time she switched duty stations. Otherwise she was done, she thought, lowering herself slowly onto the armrest of her couch, looking around.

It was so sterile, so empty. She tried to make it a home. The cooking equipment she afforded herself were in some of the boxes. She loved to cook, to have people enjoy it, and despite the difficulty at getting many of them to open up to her, she managed to create friendships here. She would miss them. She looked up at the door, a slight knock breaking into her thoughts, and forcing her to her feet. She reached behind her for the gun in the small of her back, not expecting visitors. One check in the peephole and she was confused, frowning.

What was he doing here, she wondered, reaching for the knob and pulling the door back, staring at her visitor. "You should not have come," she said softly. She glanced down the street, expecting to find the Mossad surveillance team she knew had been camped out there. Or the FBI maybe.

"Well you know, since when do I ever listen to you?" he asked, smirking as he turned around on the stoop, waving out to the street. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, as she, mortified, tried to grab him inside. "Hello people watching us! Just a friend! Saying goodbye! Nothing to see here!"

She cursed in Hebrew, grabbing him around the arm and yanking him into the apartment, slamming the door behind her. She smacked at his head, scowling. "You idiot! Do you know how stupid you look?" She leaned back against the door, still upset to see him there. It would make it infinitely harder to leave as annoying as he had been to her the past year. She narrowed her eyes at his surprised look, following his gaze to her boxes. She cleared her throat. "Yes, I am leaving."

"What?" he asked. The confidence he carried with him into the apartment dissipated, his shoulders slumping. He shook his head, laughing. "No, no Gibbs wouldn't…"

"It was not Gibbs." To her surprise and relief, Gibbs had argued to Jenny for her reinstatement as the Mossad liaison officer. He said the FBI had cleared her of any wrongdoing, coming back from his retirement in Mexico to help them do it. She respected and thanked him for his assistance, the only help she had thought to ask for when she was being framed. Gibbs had become somewhat of a father figure to her in the past year with NCIS. She learned a lot from him, more than she had from her own father, even when she wasn't a full-time member of his team, only coming in when assignments called for more fieldwork than Kate Todd was qualified for during her recovery process.

It was all gone now, the great Eli David, Director of Mossad, demanding that NCIS terminate her liaison position and bring her back to Israel. No amount of arguing with him had endeared him to her position and Jenny had apologized, saying her hands were tied. If Mossad did not condone the liaison position, she had no choice. She did not want to upset an ally. Kate would also be returned to full field status after her final doctor's appointment, her arm almost fully functional now. "Your father," he answered.

"My father," she murmured. She sank onto the edge of her couch again, her hands folding in her lap. The photos Mossad had of them were rather incriminating for them both, even if they showed nothing. She lifted her head, smiling briefly. "I thought there was a Welcome Back party for Agent Todd."

"I'll stop by," he said. He shoved his hands into his pockets, shrugging. "So what's going on Ziva? You didn't bother to call me for help?"

"I told you, I could not involve you in this. You were team lead."

"I thought we were friends, or was I mistaken?" he demanded, his words biting.

They had become what she would consider friends, yes. She found him juvenile, vain, and incessantly annoying. There was, however, a kindred connection. The vague references to his childhood gave her the impression he had as difficult a relationship with his father as she may have with hers. Although she could not imagine anyone being as terrible a father as Eli David had been. The juvenile attitude and the vanity…she suspected it was a front. She saw through it and laughed it off, even if now and then she wanted to strangle him.

More often than not, she thought, she wanted to strangle him. It was against all her better instincts and years of controlled training not to do it. She turned and faced him, her voice soft. "Yes, I like to believe we are friends." They spent most evenings with each other over the summer, which had gotten her into trouble with Mossad. She had not answered their inquiries. They believed they were sleeping together, but it had been innocent. They had dinner together. He was still getting used to being the team leader and she knew he needed a friend. She liked to cook and he liked to show her movies, which he claimed would help her improve her English and which she let him believe.

"Then why didn't you tell me you were getting sent back home?"

Tel Aviv was home for her and she was not going there for very long. She was probably going to Amman. It was a difficult, sometimes deadly, assignment and she knew her father was sending her there for a reason. It was punishment, in his head, for getting too close to the Americans. Closer than he had originally intended she be. She was identifying with them more than her countrymen. She was no longer in regular contact with Mossad. For a brief time she believed she was in fact an NCIS agent investigating crimes rather than a trained spy and assassin. She welcomed the break and did not find the idea of returning to Israel and Mossad appealing at the moment. She would do what was asked of her though. She always did, especially with her father as the direction-giver.

She shook her head slightly. "I did not…did not wish to have a prolonged goodbye." It would be easier if she just left. Cut the ties completely clean. She looked at her folded hands. "I said goodbye to everyone earlier." Abby had cried, even if she still did not really like her and was angry at her for replacing Kate for the last year. McGee had also been upset. He said he would miss her cooking and her smiles in the office. Smiles. She had never heard that from anyone. It warmed her heart.

The goodbye with him, she did not want to have at all. She worried what it would look like for him and her for her if someone saw. Now they surely had, with him coming here. "A prolonged goodbye?" He laughed, pointing to himself. "Do you think I would burst into tears or something? Hold onto your ankle and never let you leave some like little kid?"

"Well not really, but you would make a scene."

"A scene!?" he yelped shrilly.

She arched her eyebrow. "Yes, a scene, like you are right now." She smiled quickly. "You missed working with Kate, admit it. I know she was there, working at the desk and everything, but she is your partner. I am a placeholder and I am going back to where I should be."

"You were not a placeholder," he said. He reached for her and she immediately turned from him. His hand fell to his side and he shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Stop beating yourself up."

"I put you all in compromising positions. I need to leave before that happens again."

He groaned, falling back onto the overstuffed chair she enjoyed readin gin. She would miss it. "Come on Ziva! Knock off the martyr crap! We're all adults, we all knew what we were doing, and we were helping you! You are part of our team! Who cares if you were just taking Kate's place in the field? She understood she couldn't be out there."

And she had been very angry about it. Ziva had borne the brunt of a lot of the other woman's frustration at not being able to get to the field quickly. Not only had it been her agency's former officer who shot her, and then NCIS had welcomed her into the fold. She understood it. Abby had put up a good front with not letting her get too close, but she was still Abby and had ultimately welcomed her into the group. Kate did not want her taking over her partner either, something Ziva knew she was slightly jealous about, even if she was too big of a woman to let it show. "Remember the undercover marriage operation?" she demanded. She laughed at his glazed over look. "Of course you do, you don't remember how upset she was that she couldn't be there."

He laughed. "Trust me, Kate would not have wanted to pretend to be married with me for an op."

"Oh really? I was in the way."

"Oh really? She would have lost it at the thought of us making out and pretending to have sex in the name of finding the bad guy," he said, getting up off the chair and walking over to her. He looked down at her, his voice soft. "I told you when we first met, Kate is and always will be a bit of a prude."

"And now you have to become politically correct again."

"I guess I do," he said. He smiled softly and reached for her hand, but she pulled it from him. He shook his head, laughing under his breath. "Well. Guess that settles that then."

"Settles what?"

"No _Casablanca_ , we'll always have Paris moment for us."

She actually understood that reference. "We'll always have Washington, D.C.," she said. She lifted her head and met his eyes, a clear dark green looking straight into hers. He was a good agent. A good man. Someone deserved him, if he would ever let them get close. If he'd ever commit. She was not that person and could never be. "You should go, before either one of us gets in trouble again."

He nodded and ran his tongue over his teeth, sighing. "Well then…" He reached for her quickly, before she had a chance to move away and tugged her against his chest, his lips hovering over hers. "Till next time."

The charge between them had been there from the beginning, but she did not act upon it because he had been a target, a part of the investigation into her brother that she had to stop. She thought about it, when she believed she would simply be going home, but after everything with Ari and her father and…and she had to get out of there. She came back as the liaison officer, she respected Gibbs's rules and knew there was one about dating coworkers, and besides, it would have been awkward. She merely thought they would be good together sexually, but otherwise he bothered her with his entire…everything. She thought of it again after the whole "undercover" thing. The second their lips touched she'd felt her body betray her and fold against him. There was more than just a connection there.

And if there were a connection, they would meet again. _Kizmet_. She smirked, brushing her nose to his. "Until next time," she whispered, her eyes locked on his. They were no longer coworkers. It would not be…against the rules in that regard. He could get in trouble for fraternizing with a foreign operative though. She was not a liaison anymore. Just a Mossad Officer.

"Bet you're glad to be rid of me, going back to Mossad." He made a face, but smiled. "All serious Israeli men."

She chuckled, reminded of a quote. A lot of the time she was reminded of quotes from one of her favorite books when she was around him. " _Well, I must endure the presence of a few caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies_."

He squinted, smiling again, whispering, awed. "Did you just quote a movie?"

"I quoted a book, that was turned into a movie," she said, smiling again. She sighed and reached up to give him a quick hug. "Farewell Tony DiNozzo."

"Farewell Ziva David," he said. He pulled back and kissed her lightly on the cheek. She returned it and then felt his lips brush hers as they pulled away and then she brushed hers back to his, before she knew it, she was grabbing him by the back of his head, yanking him against her in a kiss that shot electricity through straight to her toes. Somewhere in the kiss his hands pushed through her hair and the minute she felt him making their way over her back she pushed at his shoulders, tearing herself away. He took a few deep breaths and she watched as he consciously stepped away from her. "Wow, okay, fine…I should go."

"Yes," she said, shaking her hand through her hair. She swallowed hard and then smiled again. He grinned back at her. "Well…until we meet again I guess. As you said."

He nodded. He turned towards the door and smirked at her one last time. "You know, I was right, your life would have had more meaning if you slept with me."

"I am sure I will come to regret it," she shot back. She tossed her head back, waving at him as he opened the door. "Goodbye. Tell Kate I said good luck with you. Now that you've had me, you will never want to go back."

His eyes darkened and he smiled. "I'll miss you too." He cocked his head and opened the door. "So what do you say in Israel when you say goodbye?"

" _Shalom_."

"That's what you say for hello."

"And also goodbye, because it does not mean goodbye," she whispered. She waited for his questioning at what it did mean and he stood for a moment in the doorway, patiently waiting on her. "It means peace."

He nodded and then smiled again. " _Shalom_ Ziva." He stepped outside and closed the door behind him with a deafening click in the silent apartment.

She sat on the armrest and thought about it. Peace. It would be nice to have that. She twisted her hands together and stood, gathering up her backpack, laptop bag, and one single carryon rolling suitcase, flicking off the lights in her apartment and stepping outside. Haidar was already on her doorstop, waiting to escort her. "I see you had one last goodbye with Special Agent DiNozzo," he drawled, as she closed up her apartment. "Seemed quick."

She ignored him and walked down to the car, throwing her things into the backseat before climbing up front. "Just drive," she ordered, turning to look away.

"No more goodbyes?"

No, she thought, that was the last one. Gibbs would not say goodbye to her and she did not want to stop at his house. She leaned against the window and watched as the streets of D.C. blurred by her on their way to the airport. Maybe they would see each other again. They did have a bit of a connection. One she hoped would last.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I actually am enjoying writing this story. AU is nice, but I am trying to keep to the show's timeline and themes. Enjoy this. It took forever to finish.**

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 _February 2007_

Tony really had no idea how he was supposed to fly from D.C. to Montreal, Canada, pretending he was visiting his father of all things, put a camera in a suitcase, and then fly back again without Gibbs knowing anything was up. He had assurances from the Director that she would handle Gibbs and for him to focus on the op at hand. He made up some story about how he was going to Canada for a film conference to Jeanne, so that took care of that, despite her insistence she try to go with him. She was starting to get closer and closer to him. He was going to meet her mother soon and she had been dropping hints.

He felt his stomach twist again at the notion of that level of commitment. The only other woman whose parents' he'd met had been Wendy and that had been at the absolute last minute, long after they got engaged. He pushed it from his mind and focused on his task at hand, as Jenny had asked him to do, walking nonchalantly through the airport, acting like he had before, wearing the coveralls of an easy-to-blend in flight line worker, shoving his sunglasses up higher on his nose. He rounded a corner and then walked quickly down a set of stairs, like nothing was the matter, until he bumped into someone at the base of the steps leading to the Employees Only section, where Jenny had worked it with someone that he'd be able to get to the private aircraft hangar.

There was a woman waiting, leaning against the door looking at her phone. She looked like a regular mechanic, complete with the toolbox beside her. Except regular mechanics did not also have a case that could fit a sniper rifle, had at least three guns on them, and a knife in her boot. He knew this because he knew the profile. Also the ass, he thought, as she leaned over to pretend to work something with her laces. Except he saw the flash of the gun before she had a chance to draw, diving down to yank his out of his boot. "Drop it," he ordered.

Then the woman lifted her head, grinning at him. " _Shalom_ , Tony," she said, pleasantly surprised.

He was half-tempted to drop it, but she was Mossad. He grinned. "You finally get the order to kill me?"

"You wish." She arched her eyebrow. "On three?"

"My three or your three? Do we drop on two or do we drop on three? After three?" he rattled off, smiling quickly at her scowl. " _Lethal Weapon_ , classic back and forth between Riggs and Murtaugh."

She said something under her breath in Hebrew and at the same time they dropped their guns. "What are you doing? We had this hangar," she said.

"NCIS-only business," he said, reaching to press at the earwig in his ear. "Hey Director, we got company. Someone lit off their Star of David bat signal. How do you want me to proceed?" He waited a moment and then let go, looking over at her and smiling. "So what are you doing here?"

She squinted. "Business. Did you change careers?"

"Might just have," he said, reaching in to his pocket as his other phone buzzed. He glanced at Jeanne's number and hesitated, sending it to voicemail. He would pay for that later. He glanced up, but Ziva had already stolen a glance at the screen. "Do you mind?"

"Who is Jeanne?" she drawled, grinning. "Your girlfriend?"

"None of your business."

"Sounds French," she said, snapping her teeth at him. She turned and spoke into her wrist, a stream of strange sounds and noises he knew to be Hebrew coming out. So she was on a Mossad mission. She nodded. " _Toda_." She gathered her bags and smiled up at him. "Nice seeing you Tony."

"Called off?"

She merely chuckled, then turned and rose on her toes, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Tell La Grenouille I said hello." She winked at his surprised look and sauntered away. She turned quickly as she walked up the stairs and called down. "And the team as well."

What the hell was that, he wondered, pressing the earpiece again. "Director?" After discussing what just happened, Jenny called it off. Said if Mossad was working in the neighborhood they had to respect it and stay out of it. She said there was another chance, the following day. She'd work it with Gibbs. He sighed and gathered his things, leaving the airport and pretending to be a common tourist now. It didn't take long before he got to the hotel, dumped his things, left a message with the nurse's station for Jeanne that he would be longer than he thought, and shoved the phone away. He rubbed his temples. This was going on the sixth month. He wondered when Jenny would let everyone know what was going on.

Ziva, he suddenly thought. She jumped into his mind. What was she doing here? Did Mossad have an operation against La Grenouille too? He'd let Jenny handle it. He checked his phone, wincing again. This time there were about ten missed calls from Kate. Damnit. He hated lying to her. He was about to reply back to her when there was a knock at his door. He grabbed his weapon, edging closer. "Yeah?" he called.

" _Bonjour Monsieur_ DiNardo, _votre masseuse est ici!"_

He groaned, whipping the door open and dragging Ziva beyond the threshold. "Will you shut up?" he snapped. His heart thudded in his chest, glaring at her. "How did you know I was here?"

"I am a spy," she said, tapping his chest. She grinned at him. "How are you?" Of course she figured out where he was staying. Question was, why? He narrowed his eyes, waiting on her to speak again. How was he? He was fine, what was she doing here? Last he checked she hadn't been happy about returning to Mossad and here she was bouncing around like she was in the happiest job in the world. She pursed her lips, twitching them slightly. "I wanted to let you know I spoke with Director Shepard. Your secret is safe with me."

Jenny told her what was going on? "You realize this is not…known," he said slowly.

"I do not speak to anyone, what would I tell them?" she murmured. She smiled again and then pressed her hand to his chest, her eyes twinkling. "It was a pleasant surprise to see you. Whatever you are working on, best of luck with it."

When she left, he'd fallen into a bit of a funk. Gibbs' returning deepened it, as he returned to the Senior Field Agent position and no longer had his own team. He'd said no to the Rota, Spain job because he didn't want to leave them. They were his family and he wasn't ready yet. So Jenny gave him an assignment, just for him. He'd thrown himself into it, forgetting about the enigmatic Israeli who had captured his attention for a year. Forgot the job he used to have. When he'd been in the funk, Kate had called him out on it. _"Grow up Tony. She was just a woman. It's not like you guys have some sort of cosmic connection."_

Maybe we do, he thought suddenly. How else to explain her random appearance? Of all the gin joints… He smiled again. "You want to grab dinner?" It came out before he realized what he said. He blinked, surprised at his own forwardness. He was technically in a relationship, no matter how….he pushed the thought into a box and locked it away.

She seemed as surprised as him. After a moment, where he watched her face, trying to find some sign of emotion as the Mossad Ninja stared back, it broke into a smile. "That sounds nice." Okay then, he thought, nodding affirmatively. He grabbed his jacket, hotel key, and walked out of the room with her, the two of them going down the street and finding a small café. After the waitress had brought their drinks and they'd submitted their orders, she sighed, dropping her chin into the palms of her hands. "I love Montreal. It reminds me of a colder version of Paris."

"You like Paris?"

"J'adore Paris," she said. She smiled over the rim of her wine glass. "It is my favorite city. Except perhaps Tel Aviv or Jerusalem." She paused, dropping her wine glass back to the table. "Or a little village in Israel where I was born. Paris does rank up there of course."

Of course, he thought with a small smile. He cleared his throat. Making smalltalk with a Mossad officer was tricky. He had to remember she wasn't with them any longer. "You enjoying being back with Mossad?"

"I miss NCIS," she said in response, her voice faraway. The wistful sadness in her eyes disappeared into the dark irises, leaving him with stony ninja again. "You are on an assignment, very secretive of course. Tony DiNardo." Make it about me, not about her, he thought, silent. Quiet draped over their table in a blanket. Minutes passed and she finally lifted her eyes to meet his. "You do not need to say anything to me, naturally. We are no longer on the same side." She cleared her throat again, whispering. Allowing herself another moment of familiarity. "How is everyone?"

I guess everyone else is a relatively safe topic. Barring any current activities they may be doing that Mossad might find interesting. "They're fine." He chuckled. "Kate came back and curses the day you were born. She's never been able to get her chair the same."

"I did that on purpose."

"Mossad Ninja move?"

"Psychological torture," she chirped, sipping her wine again. She laughed. "Along with how to kill a man with a paper clip we learn that messing with chair heights also has an effect."

They talked like that through most of dinner, keeping to safe things like movies (she had not seen one since she left the United States, to his horror) and books (he barely read the newspaper and received a lecture on the finer points of literature from her, again) and the ongoing activities of those at NCIS. It turned out she occasionally spoke to Abby, who viewed her as a sort of "Pencil Pal" she said. "Pen Pal" he corrected, feeling a slight ache at the ability to mock her English again.

When dinner concluded, she walked with him back to his hotel room. He received at least two calls from Jeanne while they did, sending them all to voicemail. She watched him as he sighed with the second one, putting his phone carefully into his pocket. "You are upset," she said.

He glanced sideways, his hands tightening into fists in the pocket of his jacket. It was freezing in the Montreal winter night. He was stupid to only bring this, but then again he also thought he'd be hanging around the airport before returning to D.C., not standing outside of a hotel on the front step with her of all people. She naturally was prepared, wearing one of her black overcoats that reminded him of something an extra from Sean Connery's sub in _Hunt For Red October_ would wear. He cleared his throat, which was just a time wasting thing to do. "I'm not upset, why would you say that?"

"You do not want to ignore this woman's calls and yet you are." She clicked her tongue, smirking. "Afraid of commitment?"

The good-natured humor from her was something he endured on a similar basis from Kate. The only difference was he felt it came from somewhere else in her. Kate did it because she enjoyed annoying him. She also probably wanted him to see what he was doing and change his behavior to fix it. Ziva did it because she was….well he wasn't sure why she did it, but she may have also liked annoying him. Except she seemed so honest and genuine. They hadn't spoken in almost six months and here she was laughing at him and teasing him of commitment. They shared a dinner like they were back at NCIS together. I have a Mossad friend, he figured. If that's what she would accept being called. Friend. "Have you…" he looked at the phone and then around at where they were. Ironic. The last time they stood in the night on a hotel stoop, she told him about her sister's death. He didn't realize at the time that that was a huge deal for her. Ziva did not like to show emotion or the squishiness inside of her. Guess it's my turn, he thought. What the hell. "Have you ever lied to someone you love?"

He half-expected her to walk away at such a personal question when they were not personal friends. They were coworkers who sometimes hung out and hadn't spoken because they worked for two separate countries. Kizmet, Fate, whatever you called her, decided to put them together tonight. Might as well take advantage. Ziva however, surprised him, and in her very Ziva-like way, nodded smartly. "Yes," she whispered. She looked vulnerable, her face uncertain and searching his for some reason why he may have asked her that. She squinted. "You love this woman? You lied to her?"

"It's nothing," he said quietly. He couldn't get into it. Didn't even know why he asked. He locked ita way again, smiling quickly. "Forget it."

She reached for his arm as he turned away and then looked at his face again, searching some more. Whatever it was, he hoped she didn't find it, but it seemed she had, because she smiled softly, her touch gentle on his arm, squeezing reassuringly. "Sometimes in this job we have to do things we do not like. We do them for reasons beyond ourselves. It is a necessity. You must determine if lying is a necessity for the mission. Or if it is something you must compromise the mission for."

He stared back into her eyes, frowning slightly. That was so horrible. That clinical response. They did a number on you, he thought, seeing the pain evident in her gaze now. He reached for the hand on his arm and squeezed it, lifting it away from him and dropping it back to her side, where she stood again. "Thank you," he whispered. He grinned and reached his hands to her shoulders, patting lightly. "I'm frozen. It's like the Ice Man Cometh. See you around Zee-vah."

The sadness changed into annoyance. There you are, he thought with a cheeky smile. She smirked, saving face and locking away her emotions just like he did. "Goodbye Tony. Good luck." She rose on her toes and quickly kissed his cheek, smiling again and wiggling her fingers. "See you around."

He watched her saunter off into the evening, cross the street, and turn a corner. He sighed. Ordinarily he might have thought he'd never see her again. Except he had a sneaky suspicion Ziva would pop back up again, especially if she was keeping tabs on him. His phone rang again and he didn't even need to know who it was, lifting it to his ear. "Hi Jeanne. Yeah, I'm sorry I missed your calls um…I ran into an old friend and was catching up." He turned and went into the hotel, locking away the emotions again. It was a necessity.

* * *

 _May 2007_

"Do you know what we were thinking?"

I can imagine, he thought, looking at Kate, who was standing in the center of the elevator, glowering at him in the dim lighting from the emergency strobes. The elevator company has to wonder why this thing stops all the time, if they keep tabs on it, he figured. He nodded to the elevator. "You ever wonder if they know somewhere we do this all the time?"

"Don't change the subject."

He hit his head against the wall of the elevator. It had been one of the hardest things in his life to do. Lie to his friends, lie to a woman he honestly cared about, and lie to himself. Worst of all, he lied to Gibbs. To the only people he viewed as his family. He looked over to her, seeing the hurt in her eyes. They'd been partners for four years now. Through thick and thin. He watched her get shot and almost died for it and heard then it had been her turn. Except she saw him blown up on a television screen, thought it was his body in autopsy. She was the one who noted there was no scarring on the lungs. Hell, she'd been there when he was in the process of receiving the scarring on his lungs. Almost watched him die then too. "Kate," he whispered, shaking his head. "It was a job."

"You should have told her," Kate said.

Told who what? Jeanne? "I couldn't," he said, frowning at her. She knew that. It was part of the job. To get close and pretend to be her boyfriend, and feel like he was her boyfriend, could have something nice like that. Commitment had been the hardest thing he'd done, but he'd done it, hadn't he? Except it had been part of the job. That's what he'd told her. He deserved the hate she'd thrown back at him. He'd burned her envelope, the request to choose one over the other. This was his family. "It was a job."

Kate scowled at him. "I'm not talking about Jeanne Benoit." She laughed and moved to lean against the elevator wall with him, their shoulders bumping. She tossed her bangs out of her eyes. "I'm talking about Ziva David. Director Shepard had to ban incoming calls from Israel. She was there for some meetings and found out about La Grenouille's plans, chatter talking about a US Navy cop. They called to warn us but apparently it was too late. McGee said that she blew up his phone too demanding answers."

Ziva was worried about him? A tiny flicker of pleasure at that notion was snuffed out by the reality that she was probably just keeping tabs on him for future "contact" opportunities. Besides, they hadn't really talked since that run-in in Montreal. He shook his head. "Probably just mad we got to La Grenouille before they did."

"He sold arms to HAMAS and Hizballah, of course Mossad wanted him too, but he was NCIS's catch. Probably because of some fancy _liaison_." Kate said it the way that Ziva used to say it, all fancy and French. She rolled her eyes, not a fan of the Israeli intelligence service or its occupants, for good reason of course. Their rogue agent had shot her. "Whatever I think of that woman Tony, she obviously cares about you."

He scowled. Ziva David may have tolerated him from time to time, but it wasn't going to last. They couldn't stand each other for long periods of time. The occasional dinner hadn't been bad, but together for any significant length of time and….boom. Fireworks. Cat and mouse game, Ducky had joked, when he casually said that he'd run into Ziva, leaving out that it was in Montreal. Made it sound like it was in DC. Despite her smiling and silence on the matter, he could tell she wasn't happy. It was nice to have a contact there, Director Shepard had said to him once. They could help you out of a tight jam. Had contacts all over the world. Especially one who was a David. Ears and eyes everywhere.

"She just needs a person to call when she wants something," he said, reaching over for the elevator switch. Before he lifted it, he looked over at his partner. The worry on her face etched through her brow, furrowed in his direction, her lips set in a tight line. She was worried about him. It had been known to happen. The obvious nature of it was rare though, usually Kate hid her feelings about him, unless she was annoyed. Which was often. He smiled and then pulled back. "Hey. I'm fine."

Kate looked up at him again, shaking her head and then laughing in an exasperated relief. "You lied to all of us Tony. I don't care if that was because the Director told you. I'll forgive you when Gibbs lets it go." They fell to silence again. Until she scoffed loudly, her hand coming up fast from her side and slapping him on the head. "And I hope Gibbs hits you harder." Then she wrapped her arms quick around him. Her voice was muffled in his chest. "And if you tell anyone I did that I will blow up your car for real."

Insane. He remained frozen, his arms at his side, too surprised to do anything. I'm surrounded by insane women, he thought, blinking in shock. "Wow. Okay…fine." She leaned around him and turned the elevator back on, returning back to her position at his side, her arms crossed over her chest and glancing up at the lights above the door. He smirked. Were they ever going to talk about this again? He pointed to her and then to him. "You hugged me. Without a bet or request. Not like you'd honor one anyway."

She glanced at his direction, her dark eyes impatient. Okay, he felt like things were sliding back into normalcy. "And as I said, you tell anyone and you're dead." She quickly grinned. "And Abby will hide your body for me."

That was probably true; Abby was one of her best friends. He didn't have that whole sisterhood of the covenant of the whatever that women had with each other even if they didn't like each other. The doors opened as he chuckled, feeling the forgiveness already start. He stepped out of the elevator and walked towards the squad room, his eyes widening slightly at the sight of someone standing and talking with Gibbs and McGee. The dark curly hair tumbled down her back and instead of army fatigues and cargo pants she wore a rather fetching black suit, but it was still her, no question about it. "Hey," he called, dropping his bag by his desk. "What are you doing here?"

She turned on her heel quickly and something that sounded like Hebrew curse words came out of her mouth in a stream as she hurried towards him, stopping herself before she reached for him. It didn't go unnoticed by the team, who all exchanged looks of surprise and curiosity. She cleared her throat and smirked. Oh I see, he thought, we can't show emotion right now. Got it. "You do not look dead. Or…extra crispy."

"Disappointed?"

"A bit, I thought we were finally rid of you." She quirked her lip up. The Israeli sun had tanned her skin, which had been ivory pale in Montreal. Then there was the time she'd casually dropped into the office, claiming how unreachable he'd been. Between her and Kate, he figured he'd never be able to go off the grid. They'd both find him and if they worked together he'd be dead before he had a chance to drop his first cell phone. "Too bad."

Kate walked over and laughed, her hand going to her hip. He barely glanced at her. "Yes, he's still with us. I hear the Israelis lost La Grenouille. Is he in some jail cell in the middle of the desert now?"

"I do not know nor do I care." She glanced at Kate, sizing her up. When the two were in the same room together he was pretty sure that the Earth moved. There was even a time that McGee said they slapped each other, but that was just McGee. He would believe it if he saw it and oh like hell how he wanted to see it. He blinked at them both, slightly afraid. In a gunfight he had it on Kate. Woman loved her guns. A knifefight…eh, Ziva and those blades of hers. Fistfight….hmm….he dragged himself to reality, watching them. It might have to be a draw there. They both could play dirty. Kate frowned at him and he blinked out the image of them both, because she could probably read his mind and knew what he was thinking. Ziva smiled again. "I should be going. Early flight."

"You're leaving?" Kate asked, tearing her look from him and then grinning cheekily at Ziva. "Aw, that's too bad. Have a safe trip back." She went back to her computer, not at all sounding like she cared.

She turned her head to peer at him and then looked at Gibbs, who had been watching all of this with utmost curiosity and silence. "I will be returning to Israel, yes, but rest assured, I will be only a phone call away." She seemed disappointed. The disappointment locked itself away, because Ziva could never be allowed to feel anything, he thought with annoyance. She smiled again and stared straight at him. "I will be around."

Was that an invitation? He followed her with his gaze as she waltzed away, clearing his throat. "Uh Boss, catch up in a minute?" He didn't even wait to see what Gibbs's response was, probably a very bad miscalculation on his part, and ran after her. Wouldn't be the first time he broke the Rules. Probably wouldn't be the last, even if he tried. He pushed the elevator door open as it began to close and grinned at her. "So you're leaving again? I drove you away?" He only half-joked with that.

"It has nothing to do with you."

"You can't live without me so you're mad, pushing me away," he teased. He was upset she was leaving. She only just showed up again. This didn't seem right.

"I could very much live without you. In fact, I'm contemplating trying to kill you so I can take your spot here, would you like that?"

He frowned. "Actually I would not. Since I'd be dead."

"See it all works out," she teased, walking across the elevator floor towards him. She waited a moment and then pulled him into the elevator as the doors closed, spinning around as he flicked it off. Second time in less than half an hour in the stopped elevator, he thought. Must be a record. She sighed and looked up at him, shaking her head and pausing. "I…" The confidence in her entire being disappeared and she reached up to give him a hug. He held her there, his hands splaying out over her back, reminded of how tiny she could be sometimes, when she allowed herself a moment to strip away the bravado. Her voice was quiet, speaking into his shoulder. "I am very glad you are not dead."

He hugged her back tighter, smiling and pushed his nose into her dark curls. "Yeah. Same here." After a minute, he pulled on one of the spirals, sniffing it. Hey, he had a chance, might as well. "Hmm…coconut?"

She smacked his head. Serious time over. "Jasmine." She pulled back and then turned away from him. They stood in quiet for a moment, decompressing and composing themselves again. Then she went in for the kill shot, he thought. "So no following the pretty doctor to parts unknown?" she murmured, turning the elevator back on. The whir of the engine pulled him into the reality that the door would open soon and he didn't have time to gather his thoughts or form any sort of composed response.

How did she know…he didn't ask. Of course she knew. Mossad. He leaned back against the wall, waited a moment thinking of how to reply, and shook his head. "Naw, you know me. One women for all time…kind of isn't my thing." His stomach hurt. The idea was nice actually. It just wasn't real. It was real for Tony DiNardo, but Tony DiNozzo was a cop. NCIS was his life, it was his family, and he couldn't leave.

The doors opened on the first floor and she stepped out, turning quickly and looking over at him. Her eyes sparkled like black diamonds. "You know I know when you are lying," she called. She waved and before he could follow after her and demand to know what the Tell was, since he had no tell, the doors closed with a soft ding. He waited another few minutes and sighed hard, staring down at his feet. Damn. He was lying. About what though, even he didn't know. Seemed like Ziva sure did. Hopefully she'd tell him, he thought. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He only had one phone now. He took it out, thinking it might have been McGee wanting to know where he was. Little Probie had been so upset at the thought he was dead, he'd been pleased to hear. He stared at the number. 972. Israel. He answered, saying nothing. After a moment, she spoke softly. "If you want to know where to find her, you need only ask."

He waited and steeled himself against the wall of the elevator, feeling it rise back up to the squadroom floor. He closed his eyes tight and shook his head. "Thanks."

" _Shalom_ Tony."

Peace, Ziva, he thought, disconnecting. That's kind of all anyone wants, now don't they? The door to the elevator opened up and he looked ahead, Kate standing there, her arms to the side. "Are you done chasing after your furry little Israeli? Director wants us in MTAC to finish going over this stuff."

He glanced at the phone again and then put it back in his pocket. He had a lot to think about, but he wasn't sure he was going to take her up on the offer. Maybe he was lying. Guess he'd have to figure that out soon enough.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Updates may start slowing since the next few chapters are going to be super long (most likely). You probably know where we are in the story now- Rivkin and Somalia. Yikes. Thanks for the reviews and enjoy.**

* * *

 _March 2008_

My head hurts, Ziva thought, rubbing at the back of her neck. She willed the headache that threatened to overtake her thoughts to fade away. You did not feel pain if you did not let it hurt. She opened her eyes to study the two-way mirror into the black site's interrogation room. She tapped the side of the headset she wore. "Yael, back off, you're pushing him too far," she said. She blew out a hard breath when the young Mossad officer did not listen, applying too much pressure and then the suspect was slumped forward in the chair. _Ben kalev_ , she swore. Son of a bitch. "Is he dead?" she demanded.

The young officer merely shrugged. "He killed children," she said, staring with disgust at the suspect. "I do not care if he is dead."

"Well he may still have information we need on his co-conspirators. Wake him up." It made her sick sometimes, what they did. She used to be young Yael in there, fresh from training and wanting to use all the lethal skills she learned and excelled at. She threw the headset off and walked out of the room, making her way down the hallway to her office. She was normally the co-lead on her _kidon_ unit, but she had elected to take the supervisory position in Be'er Sheva to get some rest from the pain and torture they went through. And enacted. She needed a break.

She dropped the files in her hands on the desk, lifting her head when Malachi walked in, leaning against the door. "What?" she asked.

"You have a phone call. It came in from the Embassy."

"Which Embassy?" She felt her heart thudding, reaching for the receiver. There had been some chatter, she'd received a call from one of her sources. They found the body of La Grenouille. Her father had been upset they couldn't have found him alive, since the sheer knowledge that the arms dealer had could probably help dismantle entire weapons networks in their country. What her father didn't know was how close she was to someone who had been one of the last to see the dealer alive.

"Which one do you think? They say she would not leave, demanded to speak to you, whether it be through video or telephone. Rivkin has her in an office, he's on the phone for you." Malachi nodded to the phone, his voice quiet. "Tread carefully Ziva. Remember who you work for."

That was not the first time one of her teammates, men and women who should trust each other with their lives and did on a daily basis, doubted her loyalty to her country. I bleed for the State of Israel, she thought, lifting the phone up and punching the button to take it. "Officer David."

It was not the person she thought it would be. "Officer David, this is Special Agent Todd. I need to talk to you and really wish it wasn't through a government phone. Are you in D.C.?"

If it was Kate calling, that meant they'd taken Tony. She stared straight ahead, trying to keep nonchalant. "I am afraid not, unless you want to make the trip to Israel. It's only a short 10-hour plane ride away."

"I don't have time to joke with you or fly to Israel, I need your help." Kate paused. "It's for Tony, otherwise I would not be asking. Believe me, I have no love lost for your agency."

Ari was rogue, she thought, mindlessly filled with hatred for their father, doing anything he could to ruin the man. It was not my agency. Kate would not listen and she never believed she would. She released a long breath and sank down into the chair at her desk. "I am listening," she murmured. She also wished they weren't having this conversation via their phone systems.

Kate's voice quickened, as if the faster she spoke and got out her request, the faster she could escape the Israeli Embassy and get back to actually helping. She was matter-of-fact. "Tony has been arrested for the murder of Rene Benoit. The guy's daughter, the woman that Tony had been seeing while undercover in an attempt to get close to La Grenouille, she's lying. Says he did it, she's being difficult. She's angry and she wants revenge on him for hurting her. Can't say I blame her, I mean he was pretending to be in love with her for a year just to get to her father. Anyways, you and I both know Tony didn't kill anyone. I have no idea who did, but do what you have to do to help him out of this." She paused, her voice dropping to a tight whisper. "I would not be asking you for help if I did not think you could do something about this. Director Shepard said it was good to have a David in your corner. So we're asking you for help this time." She waited another moment. "Gibbs is here too. Do you want to talk to him?"

No, she would speak to Gibbs another time. She reached to press a finger to her temple. This headache would not go away now. "I will see what I can do," she said, choosing her words carefully. Never promise anything. Her heart thudded harder. "Is Tony alright?"

"Oddly he's fine, this isn't the first time he's been accused of murder."

I will have to discover what happened the first time, she thought with a slight chuckle. She nodded and reached for a notepad, scribbling notes to herself. "I will not call you. We will not speak again. Go back to the office and tell no one you spoke with me. Not even Abby."

"What are you going to do?"

"What I do," she said with another soft chuckle. "Goodbye Kate." She disconnected and then hit another button on her phone, lifting her head and smirking when Malachi barged back into the office. He was fuming with anger, as he should, given what she'd done. It would do nothing to dispel the rumors of her loyalty, but it had to be done. She acted like nothing was the matter, gathering her things. "Hello Malachi, how are you?"

"You stopped the recording devices. We have no record of that call."

She shrugged, swiping the notepad and shoving it into her jacket pocket. "Must have been a glitch." She breezed by him, taking her bag with her. I will not be back, she did not have to bother to say, hurrying out of the office and up to the surface, emerging in the hot Israeli sun. Her car was parked up on the curb and she jumped into it, dialing a number on her phone as she spun away, heading to the highway and towards Jerusalem. The phone rang only once and she spoke her authentication passcode, allowing her to reach a direct line.

It rang once again. "Shalom neshema," a gravelly voice said through her phone speaker. He chuckled, a low rumble, like the bear her father was. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your phone call? I thought you were not speaking to me right now?"

"I am not not speaking to you, I just have not called you."

"You need something, yes? Why else would you call your Abba? You should come to Shabbat dinner tomorrow, my Ziva."

It was only the two of them now, all members of their family long gone. She had not had Shabbat dinner with him since her mother was alive and all five of them had been together. She did not imagine she could ever sit through another Shabbat dinner with her father again, especially not with the two of them. "I am busy tomorrow night. I need to speak with you, do you have time this afternoon? I am on my way to Jerusalem."

"Come pray with me." Then he disconnected. She sighed hard. Of course he would do something like this. Just another means of trying to get their old family traditions back into their lives. She pressed her finger hard on her phone, tossing it to the side and hitting her head back against the headrest. The Mini she had transported to Tel Aviv when she first returned zipped quickly through the cars on the highway and at a few points she took the shoulder to avoid traffic jams.

It did not take her long then, to throw her car into park in a very random free space in a public lot near the heavily populated and traversed area of Jerusalem. She pushed her sunglasses up on her nose and threw her jacket on to cover the gun on her hip. She took one of her favorite scarves, a black and gold one, and tied it tight over her hair. It did not take long for her to walk with the hoards of people, tourists mostly taking advantage of how close to the beginning of Passover and Easter it was, and slipped by them entering the metal detectors, showing her Mossad credentials to bypass. She shoved her hands in her pockets, slowly making her way to the massive wall, her heart fluttering each time she came here.

Since she could not go with her father, she approached it on her side, wondering when the last time she came here was. Probably after they buried Ari. There was a spot towards the side, where the wall separating the men's and women's side was, where she was able to press her hands against the stone and touch her forehead against it, closing her eyes. She mouthed the prayer in Hebrew and then closed her eyes tighter. A face swam into her thoughts. Smirking and laughing at her. Making fun of her English. He was sitting in an interrogation room probably, she thought, opening her eyes briefly. "Help me do this," she breathed.

Do this for him, she thought, but did not speak. She closed her eyes tighter and quickly sent a prayer for her sister, wherever her spirit may be, and stepped away. As she turned, she saw through a gap in the barrier, spying her father walking away from the wall. He could see everyone and everything and sure enough he saw her, even through the game, and smiled. Maybe he could not actually see her, but sense her, and she sighed. Best get this over with. They both left their respective sides and she approached him carefully in the plaza, both walking slowly away from the Wall. "Are you going to give your Abba a hug?" he asked.

She lifted her head to him and sighed, reaching to wrap her arms around him. He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "I need a favor," she said. It would be something he would certainly collect on, but she needed him to do this. He was the only one she could think of in such a short time who would be able to help this. She hesitated and then took her sunglasses off so she could see him without the veil. I am here Abba, asking you, she thought. The tinted glasses he wore to stave off eye problems hid his emotions from her, but right now she did not need to know how he felt. He needed to see her right now. The need she had. "There is…one of the NCIS agents I worked with…"

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, Junior."

It should not surprise her he knew, but she didn't have time to hide the surprise on her face, her mouth falling ajar slightly. She closed it quickly. "Yes," she said. "Yes Tony."

"Ah, Tony is he? A good Italian name that is, DiNozzo…I believe I met an Anthony DiNozzo awhile ago, in Switzerland…charming man, I believe this one is also charming? Of course he is, to have made such an impression on my Ziva." What she could see of his gaze was intense. He was drilling through her now, reminding her who had the power as she came to him begging for help. He folded his hands in front of him. "You want me to do something? To get him out of this predicament?"

"He did not kill Rene Benoit, you and I both know that," she said.

Eli cocked his head slightly, smiling with bemusement. "I do, do I?"

"Yes, you do." She was not in the mood to play her father's mind games. This was hard enough as it was. Her voice tight, her hands in fists at her side, she growled up at him. "Tony did not kill him. He is being accused of it, I do not know what you have or where you can get it, but I need something to clear his name. I do not care who really killed Benoit, I just want him out."

Eyes narrowed. He chuckled again and looked up and out at the crowds around them. They just looked like a father and a daughter arguing, perhaps over where to go next after they toured the Holy Land sites. He then smiled again. "I believe I know what I can do to help you."

A jolt of surprise had her standing straighter. "Yes?"

"Yes. There is a CIA agent who was working with Benoit. Trent Kort." He chuckled again and lifted his eyebrows up over the frames of his glasses. "I have something I believe he might be curious to know about. Let me handle this Ziva." He paused again and reached for her shoulder, wrapping her closer towards him. "You know I understand your hesitation to come to Shabbat dinner, but perhaps instead of that, we can have Seder together this year?"

That did not take long for him to lifted the knife to her throat. She heaved a sigh and nodded. When she was a little girl, Seder was Tali's favorite. Of course Eli knew that. He also knew they had not had one together since Tali was killed. They attended Seder at other people's homes, but never in their own together. She tossed her dark curls from her eyes and nodded again. "Fine."

"Excellent!" he beamed. He pulled her against his chest again and kissed her head. "Hmm, my Ziva. It is so good to see you. I would like you to come to the office next week, yes? We shall have tea and discuss where your Abba would like to see you. I have some ideas." I am sure I will find them riveting, she thought, glaring up at him with frustration. Of course she could not say anything now, not after what he was doing for her. He chuckled again. "Ah, DiNozzo. Italian. Do you love this man?'

She shot him a dark look. "Excuse me?"

"I suppose not, but you respect him?"

"He was a good agent when I was there." We tend to cross paths from time to time. She pursed her lips again. "You do not believe me."

"Ziva you are a beautiful young woman, he is an arrogant American police officer." He made a face. "Italian. Catholic. I should hope you do not think to bring him home. I am not getting any younger, I would like to see grandchildren one day. They will not be half-Catholic."

To her knowledge Tony had no religion other than NCIS and the cinema. She did not even dignify her father's comment regarding grandchildren or her relationship with Tony with a response. They walked along and out to the street, where there was a black bullet-proofed SUV already waiting for her father, several men and women she had seen around him at the Wall finally emerging from the crowds to give themselves away as a protection detail. She looked back up at her father and swallowed her pride, lifted her chin, and whispered. " _Toda_."

He chuckled again and kissed her cheeks, giving her a quick hug. "I will see you next week."

Very well, she thought, watching him climb into the SUV with the rest of his detail. She followed his SUV as it disappeared into the traffic and turned away. She returned to her Mini, got back on the road, and a couple hours later was back in her small apartment in Be'er Sheva. Her father owned a farmhouse nearby, with an olive grove, where she was born. She contemplated going out to it and then thought what the hell. She had a key. It didn't take long to get there, but it felt like it was in another world. The only place where she could be completely alone and stay hidden from the world. Maybe I will retire here one day, she thought, dropping her bag on the floor as she stood in the entryway.

She flicked on a light and tugged her jacket off, setting it on the back of the couch, and took her phone from her pocket. It had been enough time since she saw her father leave. She took a deep breath and punched in a number, lifting it to her ear. It rang only once. "Gibbs."

"Hello Gibbs."

"Ziver."

She smiled wide, missing the nickname he bestowed on her when she had been working there. "Um…" she raked her fingers through her hair, aware that it was not a secure line. She cleared her throat. "I spoke with someone who might be able to help. I do not know how long…"

"Tony's out. Trent Kort took responsibility for killing Rene Benoit."

What? Wasn't he the CIA agent? She squinted, shaking her head slightly. "Um…Kort?"

"Yes."

The functional mute, Tony called him. She nodded, understanding she would not get the full details. It didn't matter to her anyway. It meant her father came through and Tony was released. She sighed again, quiet. "I am glad it all worked out."

"Why are you calling Ziver? Just to find out Tony was released?" He was playing a part, knowing that she had to save face if someone was listening. He chuckled, quiet. "What did you have to give up?"

She sank into a chair by the door, looking straight out at the desert nighttime, which blanketed her in darkness. The only light came from the small dim lamp in the corner and the stars overhead. She closed her eyes tight. "It is nothing. It was worth it. I am glad he okay. Please tell them hello for me." She paused again, listening to his soft breathing for a moment. It was comforting. She missed him, Gibbs. Even when he was angry with her, he never held it against her. He was more of a father to her, the year she had been there working with him, and the off times she saw them these past couple of years, than Eli David was. Holding her friend's future over her head just to get her to spend time with him. Did Eli know that that was what it was? Or did he think he was just doing what needed to eb done to get his daughter to spend time with him? Hell, he did not even realize how wrong it all was.

Gibbs cleared his throat. "You need anything else?"

"No," she whispered. She dug the toe of her boot into a knot in the wooden floor. "Good night Gibbs."

"It's morning here."

She knew she didn't wake him. He didn't sleep, much like her. "Leila Tov," she whispered, smiling when he just chuckled and disconnected. She stared at the phone again and then thought against it. She set it on the table beside her and hung her head in her hands, relief filling her and forcing her shoulders to slump. Thank you, she thought, hitting her head back against the wall, her eyes fluttering shut. She smiled to herself. Tony said the last time they met that they only stayed in contact when she needed something. "You owe me," she said to no one.

The universe did not reply, but she hoped one day it would pay her back.

* * *

 _May 2008_

When they were in Cairo, she promised Jenny she would go to her funeral. It was part of a deal they made if they got out alive from a rather bad shootout and car chase with terrorists. They'd been holed up inside an abandoned restaurant, ironically, running low on ammunition and laughing together like it was an everyday occurrence to be running for your life. She said something about how she was not going to die in a dirty Cairo alleyway, it was not befitting of a Mossad officer. At least it was a shootout. Jenny said she would make sure that if she were killed beside her, at least it would be in a decent location. That's when she said that she'd go to Jenny's funeral if she got killed, so long as Jenny would go to hers. They shoot on it. Black humor to diffuse the emotions and tension.

I promised her, she thought, shoving her sunglasses on as she climbed out of the rental vehicle, walking towards the graveside service. The official news report said Jenny died in her home, in a fire. That was an obvious lie. There was a coverup that's how you always covered up or faked your death. It was her plan, if she ever had to do that. After calling around, she determined Jenny was not in fact faking her death, although it was a coverup. She did not care what NCIS was doing hiding the reason for Jenny's death, so long as she died a good one. It had been a shootout, she'd learned. That was how she'd want to go out at least. Then it hurt her, knowing the truth. Jenny was really gone. She booked a ticket to Washington, D.C. right afterward.

As she walked up the grassy embankment where the private graveside service was to be held, she saw Tony look over from where he had been standing with Kate, Tim, and Abby. She smiled slightly and walked towards him. "You didn't tell me you were coming," he said softly, reaching to give her a kiss on the cheek in greeting. She gave him a tight hug, her fingers lightly dancing over his shoulders. It was strange how close they were when they never saw each other or really even spoke. They had a connection, she supposed, as annoying as he was. She missed him. She only realized it when she saw him.

"I promised her I would come to her funeral, when we were in Cairo." She could explain it to him later. She smirked at his frown. "It is a long story…I can tell you some other time." She paused and then lifted her eyes to his, whispering. "We will have a drink and I will tell you."

He didn't say anything; he was shadowed, there was a darkness over him. They may have been at a funeral, but he was carrying something heavy in his heart. She made sure to remember that, before turning to everyone else. "Ziva, so good to see you despite the circumstances," Tim said, giving her a hug. She stepped aside and even Abby and Kate, despite their distrust, greeted her warmly. It was like being with a family, she thought, moving to stand beside Tony again. Gibbs stood to the side, alone. She wondered what was going through his mind. Jenny had not been forthcoming about him after she became NCIS Director. There had been someone, Ziva knew there was someone she was close with once before. It sounded like it could have been Gibbs. Guess I will never know, she thought, moving aside.

The service began and she continued to stand, watching solemnly as people listened to the priest speak. She dropped her hand to her side and felt her fingers brush over Tony's. After a moment, she felt his hand tentatively reach for hers and stop. It is okay, she thought, reaching for him too and squeezed lightly. They held hands loosely for a moment before he let go after another comforting squeeze. She took a deep breath and waited while everyone lined up to give the coffin one last touch, word, or drop a flower atop it. She moved to stand beside it and pressed her hand, closing her eyes, and murmured a quick prayer in Hebrew. Jenny what did you do, she wondered, moving away.

There were so many questions and no time. She caught Tony's gaze and walked away to her car, feeling him move to catch up to her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Gibbs's slight frown in their direction. I am not stealing him away, she thought with a slight nod to him. She had to talk to him anyway. "Who is your new director?" she asked, as they returned to their cars. She knew everyone would be returning to the office. There would be no, what was the saying? Snow on their parade? Or was it rain? Either way, she would not intrude in their grief anymore than she already had, just fulfilling her promise to a friend.

"Headed up the San Diego office, he's a ball-buster," Tony said.

"Ball buster?" She wrinkled her nose. "Why would he do that?"

"Figure of speech."

She did not understand Americans sometimes. Or maybe it was all the time. She leaned in to give him another quick kiss on the cheek. "I am staying at my old apartment," she said. She did not give it up when she returned to Israel. It was something she had never done before, but she couldn't seem to say goodbye to it. It was probably the only place she'd allowed herself to feel like she was at home while working. "If you want to catch up."

"I have to talk to you," he whispered.

"Talk about what?"

"Not here." He nodded towards the grave, where Gibbs was watching them both like a hawk. He gestured to her car. Ah, I see, she realized. "I'll see you later."

"Goodbye." She watched him walk away and narrowed her gaze on his retreating back, curious. She opened the car door and slipped inside, reaching to put her key in the ignition when there was a light tap on the window. Without flinching, since she knew he would be approaching, she lowered the window and smiled. "Gibbs."

"You came," he said. It sounded like an accusation.

"I owed it to a friend."

He nodded, but said nothing, still staring down at her. She hoped his 'gut' wasn't telling him anything beyond the fact that she was there to see a friend off. Despite her personal reservations and curiosity over Jenny's death and the reasons for hiding it from the world. He looked around and then knocked on the edge of the window, quiet. "We need to talk."

She pursed her lips and nodded. "I will see you in a few minutes." She would go to his house, see what he was building in the basement now. Last time it had been another boat. He barely tilted his head 'no.' She looked over to where everyone was piling back into Tony's car. I see, she thought, nodding. Guess she would be going to the Navy yard after all. She rolled the window up as he left and pulled quickly from her space, speeding off and cutting off Kate and Tony, who were driving too slow out of the cemetery, and headed towards the Navy Yard. This should be very interesting.

Roughly thirty minutes later, she found herself in the new NCIS Director's office, before she could speak to even Gibbs and Tony, the brusque man looking her straight in the eye. She got the impression this was what did Tony call him? The ball buster. Yes, she could see that now as she stood with him. "Ms. David. I know your father, we go way back."

Enemy or friend? Eli David did not have friends, so she guessed it had to be enemy. She cocked her head, her eyes narrowing slightly. She did not trust anyone who claimed to go back with her father. "Yes."

He smiled, but there was no warmth behind it. There was calculation. "Your friendship with Director Shepard allowed you unfettered access to NCIS and its systems while in the role of so-called Mossad liaison. I understand the concept of keep your friends close, but that is too close for me despite going way back with your father." He looked to Gibbs. "I know your role as Mossad liaison was terminated at least two years ago but you still come and go too often for my liking. You will turn in any accesses, badges or otherwise, you may have on your person when you leave this building. If you need to work with NCIS, you go through proper channels and not via your relationships with the Director and…" Vance gazed pointedly at Tony, who just stared straight back. "Other agents in this office."

How did he…she shook her head but said nothing. There was an access badge she had, but rarely used. She could still get into their systems but that was because she was a very good officer. McGee could get into Mossad's systems if he felt like it, nothing was locked down. "Yes," she said, nodding. "Okay." The idea of not being able to just walk in here…she felt something clench inside. It was just a job. It meant nothing. "Very well."

"We're done here, you can leave. I still need to speak to the rest of my employees."

She glanced over at Tony, who just shrugged and Tim who seemed apologetic. Kate just seemed glad she would be leaving. She didn't look at Gibbs, but dropped the badge they gave her to use when she was out on assignment with them, along with the ID card that allowed her into the parking garage and building. She turned and left the office, going downstairs, where Abby was pacing in the bullpen. "Oh my gosh! Ziva!" She hurried over and grabbed her shoulders. "What is going on? I saw all of you go up there and we're desperate for info."

"Vance is known for shaking things up," Ducky said. "Is he up there reassigning everyone?"

"I think he may be, he just removed me from NCIS permanently," she said.

"What? But you're…you're practically family!" Abby exclaimed.

Jimmy shook his head, fretting. "This doesn't seem good at all."

I need answers, she thought, looking up as the team began to trickle down the stairs, all looking numb. Gibbs gave her a look and then shook his head. "Forget it." She guessed it didn't matter, whatever he wanted to tell her. She looked at Tony, who had sunk into his chair, unblinking.

"What's wrong with him?" Abby demanded.

"We've been reassigned," McGee said.

Kate looked over at them. Her face was ashen and she kept shooting quick, apologetic looks in Tony's direction. "I'm Senior Field Agent now."

"Cyber Crimes for me," McGee sighed.

But wait…she seemed to have done the math faster than the others. If Kate was Senior Field Agent, that meant…it hit everyone else at the moment she looked to Tony, who released a howl of horror, shoving his face into his hands. "Agent Afloat! I hate boats!"

"You're a Navy cop!" Kate exclaimed. She was trying to sound exasperated, but she just seemed as upset as everyone else. "Come on Tony, you'll be fine! Think of it as a new experience to lead. You'll be the only cop on the entire ship!"

Agent Afloat? She squinted. Was that another idiom? "What does that mean?" she asked. She thought she'd heard it before.

"It means I report to the USS Seahawk tomorrow morning," Tony snapped, scrubbing at his hair. He looked positively miserable about it all. His words bit out as he began to slam things around his desk. "And spend six months on a floating city with thousands of smelly sailors. Ugh." He looked up at her. "It's not what I signed up for when I took this job."

That did not seem to make sense to her as he was ultimately a police officer for the US Navy. Which had ships. So he would have to serve there one day, she thought. Tony did have different thought processes than most of them though. She reached over to pat at his shoulder in comfort, but Kate and Tim and Abby were already comforting him. I do not belong here, she thought, moving away from them. They may feel like family but at the end of the day the only reason she was here was because of Jenny. Because she had grown close to some of them. One in particular.

They may think it was to have a contact and maybe it was, but Tony had wormed into her life. She would have to speak with him later, or maybe not at all. She would find out about Jenny soon. Leave him to his friends, she thought. His family. In the mayhem over Tony's sudden departure and the upset in their dynamics, as well as their general grieving for Jenny, she moved away and walked towards the elevator, stepping in and pressed the button for the first floor. As the doors closed, a hand shot out and pushed them open. She lifted her head, watching Gibbs enter. He was silent and punched the doors shut. They closed with a ding and then he immediately pulled the emergency stop.

As the lights went off, the dull emergency lighting filled the space. He turned to her, his face traditionally impassive. This was no exception. "I am sorry about Jenny," she said quietly. She felt guilty all of a sudden for intruding. She rubbed at her temple. "I came for the funeral…it is a long story but I owed it to her." She wondered if he would tell her the truth. She glanced in his direction. "And I seem to have found myself in a bit of a mess now."

Gibbs did not waste time. "Tony uses you for information and you use him."

She turned her head quickly, eyes widening. "Excuse me?"

"That's how sources work. You keep him in orbit and he keeps you in orbit. Do you think you both accidentally cross paths? Jenny." He paused and she saw the pain in his face as he said her name. "Jenny put you in this office as a favor to you, but you got something out of it for your bosses at the end of the day. The missions you guys would meet on…the one in Montreal I found out about over a year ago."

Yes, she thought, staring at him. She swallowed hard. "I do not know what you are talking about."

"Do not…" he paused, his voice deadly soft. "Lie to me."

That would be a horrible mistake. She shook her head slightly, her voice cracking. "I did not do anything wrong with the arms dealer."

"No, but you and I both know what you did." Yes, she thought, thinking back to that. He cocked his head, whispering. "What did you do to get it?"

I had to have Seder with my father, in his apartment, acting like a family. With photographs of her mother and Tali around. None of Ari. None of his shame. She heaved a deep sigh, blinking the prickling sensation from her eyes. "You do not want to know."

"Ziver."

"You called…Kate called and I did what I had to do." She shot him a look to the side, whispering. "For a friend." For you, for Tony…for everyone.

Gibbs shook his head slightly, whispering, genuinely concerned. "Ziva, Tony is not a mark."

"I know!" she exclaimed. She pressed her fingers to her temple. "I know." She looked up at him, shaking her head again. "I am no longer welcome here, your Director made clear of that. I have to return back to Israel. I told you, I came for Jenny's funeral. I owed it to her as a friend and nothing more. There is no other motive for my being here."

He gave her another scan. She must have passed, because he nodded again. "Tony trusts you."

"I had not noticed," she said, truthful. "He seems to enjoy antagonizing me."

"He blames himself." Excuse me, she thought, confused, as Gibbs began to explain, his voice deadly soft. "Tony and Kate were on assignment in Los Angeles on a detail. The past came back and Jenny was killed in the crossfire."

"The past?"

"Doesn't matter." He was abrupt, so she didn't question it. He continued. "You know what its like when you think you got someone killed."

It eats you alive. You find ways to cope. You think of the 'what ifs' so much you start to believe they are true. Until you find out that things aren't how you wished them to be. Poor Tony. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked. Gibbs had always warned them away from each other, disapproving of how close they were beyond just being 'family.' It didn't matter anyway. Tony had Kate. Someone else who was there and understood far more than her. They were partners after all. What could she provide him that he couldn't get from his partner?

"I told you so you had the full truth, as a friend of Jenny's." He reached for the elevator button and pulled it again, rolling his eyes at her. "Could care less about your personal life Officer David."

She smiled again, her voice soft. I guess that is as much as I will ever get out of him. "It is good to see you again Gibbs, despite the circumstances." She paused and then chuckled, walking out the open doors. "If you are ever in Israel, give me a call."

"You'll already know if I'm there."

Yes, she would, she thought with a soft chuckle, walking out to the rental car. She did not have anymore of her accesses to the building, which left her with a sort of emptiness in her heart. This place was comforting to her. The work was different. It was…it was rewarding. You caught bad guys. Put them in jail and helped someone in the process usually. Mossad…she reached to touch at the symbol on her neck. It was so much more than that. The weight of an entire people on your shoulders. The pressure…she released a long sigh, but it didn't help her. She opened the car door and climbed in, pushing every away.

Whether or not Tony would show up, she did not know. Not after all these changes. She drove back to her old apartment, which she had kept despite Mossad's insistence she lose the property. She changed out of the black funeral dress into comfortable cargo pants and t-shirt. She ordered pizza, something she could not always find in good quality in Tel Aviv, and set it on the table just as there was a knock at the door. She ignored the 9mm she left on the end table and checked the peephole, pulling it open to reveal a dejected Tony. "You should be packing."

"Ugh, it doesn't matter." He walked over to the pizza and grabbed a piece, eating it standing up and complaining about Vance's decision through a mouthful of pepperoni and cheese. She watched him eat for a few minutes, watching him. He was full of pent up energy. He seemed ready to pounce. She lifted her chin and kept watching him. "What?" he demanded. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Gibbs believes that I use you for your connections," she said.

He lifted his eyes. "You don't?"

She scowled. How could they think that? After this time? "I do not," she said, her voice cool. "Do you?"

He looked up again and then back down at the half-eaten pizza slice in his hand. He tossed it back into the box, wiping his hands on the napkins she had laid out. "What are we even talking about Ziva?"

We are talking about…about nothing anymore, she thought, closing her eyes. She opened them and looked at him again. Regardless of what Gibbs thought, she did not use him the way they may have thought. Just like he did not use her the way they probably would have trained him to do. "You did not do anything to get Jenny killed no matter what you think." Blurting it out was the best way to address it.

He stopped mid-chew and then swallowed, looking over at her. "What are you talking about?"

I am not speaking Hebrew, she thought, scowling. "I am talking about how you are not at fault for whatever happened to Jenny, no matter what you think." She looked him straight in the eye, whispering. "Gibbs told me what happened."

"Why would he do that?" he snapped.

"Because she was my friend."

"Yeah? Well she was our friend too, our boss, and we were there protecting her. You were off somewhere in Israel doing whatever it is you do over there." He was lashing out, angry at the way things were going, she thought. Rationally at least. She was also irrational and just as pissed at his reaction when she was only trying to help. He read her mind and laughed. "Don't try helping me Zi-vah!"

She glared at him. How dare he? She was only trying to help a friend. "You know this is precisely why we could never work together!" She swore in Hebrew and then railed at him in her native tongue, throwing her hands in the air as he shouted at her about how she was always gone, secretive, he couldn't trust her, in fact he didn't trust her and that's why he was always keeping tabs on her. She yelled that he was an idiot, who cared more about movies than real life, how he thought he was so funny but in reality he was a giant child who had severe issues and what kind of a person was that?

After yelling at each other in two different languages for the better part of an hour, she finally threw her hands down to her sides and stared at him. "What are we doing?" she demanded. They were acting like children. Petulant children, shouting at each other over things that could not be helped. Yes, she was Mossad, which meant she disappeared from time to time. Yes, hew as a federal agent who preferred to shoot first and ask questions later, but at the end of the day they trusted each other. That's why they stayed in contact. They both knew it.

"We're yelling."

"Why?"

"Because we can," he said. He shook his head again and laughed. He reached his hands up to her, shaking the air. He looked like an idiot. "Why the hell are you still in my life?! You showed up when my partner got shot and almost killed and that was for an operation! That was work! You never left! And it is annoying Ziva!"

Why was she always around? He still didn't get that? "Because I like you guys," she exclaimed. She swallowed hard, her voice soft, realizing how that sounded. She shook her head quickly. Regardless of that summer where they spent most nights together, she…she liked them. It was the first time she'd felt like she had a family again. I want something permanent, she thought with a sad look to the photo she took with her everywhere, of Ari, Tali, and herself. She tore her gaze away from it before he could see, before he could put anything together. Her voice dropped to a whisper. This was too personal. It was unacceptable. "It does not matter anymore. I am returning to Tel Aviv. You are going to a ship in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I guess we may see each other again or we may not it does not matter anymore."

He looked right at her again. That look that told her he was refusing to accept that. Tony had a nasty habit of ignoring things that were right in front of him if he didn't feel like believing them. A prickly feeling crossed her skin and she turned away when he walked over to her. "Hey," he whispered, reaching for her face, turning her towards him. His fingers burned into her cheek. He smiled again, shrugging. "We'll find each other again. I did track you down the first time."

"I let you," she whispered. She chuckled and reached for his hand, squeezing it quickly. "If we thought you would get in trouble before when I was allowed in your building then I am sure it would be bad now." Not to mention her father's ire when he learned that she'd returned to the same place in the same city and that the American agent was here with her. She smiled again and then rose on her toes, kissing him quickly. "That should keep you for six months."

"Ah…I don't think so," he laughed, tugging her arm and turning her back against his chest, his fingers going to brush her hair from her face. He touched his lips to hers again. She felt like she was on fire. This was getting to be too much. His voice was gravelly. "You want to see my knife?"

They could be fighting and arguing one moment and now this. He was a clown. She knew better though. She laughed, reaching around to his pocket and tugged the switchblade, flicking it up and studying it. There were marks along the side. She squinted and then glared at him, disgusted. "You are not keeping this sharp. You should not own a knife if you cannot take care of it." She flicked it shut and then turned it towards him.

"Well let's see yours then?" She reached to her boot and whipped out one of her favorites, tilting it towards him. He looked at her boot and then at her again, his eyes wide. He was so shrill, she thought with an irritated look. "You keep that thing with you when you're just wandering around your apartment?"

She smirked. "Well you never know." She slept with a gun beneath her pillow too. Something he'd learned when they were undercover the first time. She reached into his pocket again and slowly removed his phone, looking at it. There were several missed calls from Kate. The real partner. The real family. She turned it towards him, whispering. "You should go say goodbye to your partner."

He frowned at her. "What about you?"

What about me? "I will be fine, I have a flight in the morning." Then it was on to somewhere, some mission. The last word she'd heard was she would be sent to Morocco. She wished she could stay in Paris. She loved Paris. She reached up to give him another quick hug. "Do call if you need anything."

"Take care Officer David," he said, giving her a quick smile. They stared at each other for a brief moment and then she moved at the same time as him, grabbing his lips with hers in a searing kiss. It did not last long, because she wasn't sure she'd be able to hold on very long anyway, her fingers gripping at the back of his head as his dove through her curls, her neck bent back as she pulled him against her. A moment passed and very slowly they broke away, eyes opening slowly. She quirked her lip in a smile, mimicking his. "We'd never be good together," he whispered. "Hate each other too much."

I concur, she thought, kissing him one more time. "Goodbye." He smiled again and just waved, reaching for his phone and pressing it against his ear, calling Kate. She smiled and watched the door close with a click. Well then. She waited another moment and gathered everything together, throwing it into trash bags and taking them out to the dumpster. She grabbed her photo, the small bag she traveled with, and turned out the lights, closing and locking the door behind her.

The following day, she was landing in Tel Aviv, to receive her next assignment, with the assurances to her father that Washington, D.C., and NCIS were behind her. "And any other distractions?" he warned. He cocked his head, chuckling. "Because I need you focused on this Ziva." And whatever Eli wanted, Eli got, she thought darkly.

"No distractions," she whispered. She meant it too. Everyone back in Washington, D.C. could stay there. Including the biggest distraction of them all.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I hope people are still reading- I know the updates aren't frequent, but that's because it takes me awhile to write in the 'heads' of the characters at these points during the series. Plus I got carried away writing the ending chapters instead of those in the middle, ha. I know it's a different fic. Hope people do stick with it. Enjoy :)**

* * *

 _January 2009_

"You think this is going to work?"

"I know it will."

In his ear, he heard all their voices. This was a terrible mistake, he thought, wiring up to have this meeting. In the back of his head he saw the surveillance photo Gibbs had slammed down on his desk, demanding to get in touch with her. They'd been on the tail of a so-called 'legal attache' at the Israeli embassy, who had been sniffing around various NCIS cases. A photo Fornell brought to them showed him in rather clear contact with one Mossad officer they knew very well.

Gibbs had reached out to her first. She'd come to him, to his basement, the most scared of places, he thought with a frown, looking around the empty alley, wondering how come this was taking so long. In the sacred basement, she had lied to him. He didn't know why she did it. Gibbs only said she lied. He didn't go into detail. Just that she lied. Get in contact, he'd ordered. How was he supposed to contact someone he swore he wasn't in regular contact with? They crossed paths. Except during one of the path crossings they'd set up a system. In Colombia, when he was Agent Afloat, he ran into her. They agreed if they needed something they'd have a way of contacting each other.

He initially called her cell phone, but when she didn't answer, he got McGee to help him with what she had wanted him to do. It involved some complicated instant messaging thing. He'd told her where to meet. She said she'd be there. Now here they were and no show. "Tony I think we should pack it in, there's no sign of her," Kate said. "Shocker. She probably knows what we're going to talk to her about and is already out of the country."

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye, saying nothing to the voices talking in his head. He kept his hand on the butt of his gun, watching the shadows. "Shalom," he called.

She stepped out, her hands in her pockets, a blank stare on her face. "Hello," she greeted him.

"You mind showing your hands?" He grinned, shrugging his shoulder. "Get a little nervous with you around."

There was something wafting off of her he couldn't pinpoint. No joking, no smiles. They usually had at least a quick hug and mean thing to say to each other in greeting, but Ziva was all Mossad Ninja right now. That put him on edge. This woman could kill him with a paper clip. Literally. She removed her hands from the pocket of her coat, lifting her hands out. "You going to strip me?" she said. She glared at him. Her eyes narrowed. "You do not trust me?"

"What are you talking about? I just know you've got at least three guns and two knives. Maybe even a garrote on you too." In disgust, Ziva stormed to him, splashing dirty snow and water over his boots, and reached up to his ear, yanking at the earpiece. "Ow! Damnit!" His heart pounded fast. He knew this was a mistake. A muscle ticked in his jaw as he set it and tightly smiled. "Oops. How'd that get there?"

She locked eyes on him and spoke into the earpiece. "Hello Kate. I need to talk to Tony. Alone." She dropped the earpiece onto the ground and crushed it beneath her boot heel. Dark ropey curls flew over her shoulder as she tossed her hair back, still glaring at him. Now we really don't trust each other. "You called me to talk about Michael?"

Now we get to where we want to get. The joking, teasing, it was gone now. His hands went to his pockets. This was just them. Tony and Ziva. The US federal agent and the Mossad Officer. "We've known each other now, what?" he wondered, leaning back against his car. He shrugged, nonchalant. No big deal, the two of them. Just standing here and having a conversation. "Five years?"

"Four," she corrected. She squinted. "Or does it count when we never see each other, work together…" Wow, ferocious, he thought, scowling at her. She returned the scowl. Then she chuckled, looking down at her feet and back up to him, quiet. "What do you want Tony? You want to know about Michael? He is a legal attaché at the Embassy. What more do you want?"

"He's Mossad."

She smiled again. "I am Mossad."

"You're different Mossad. He's _kidon_." Another vague smile. So was she, but she wouldn't say it, not with listening devices around. They were partners. Everything Rivkin was up to, she would also be involved with. He never quite knew what her role was on the _kidon_ unit, but he got the impression she was high-ranking. Hell, he had been Senior Field Agent for almost eight years now and here she was commanding assassins around the world and she was hardly in her thirties. Life was so unfair, he mused for a moment, glancing at her again. He straightened up. "What are you guys doing on US soil?"

"Liaison."

"Liar."

"Mossad," she shot back. She blinked at him, smiling, her eyes sparkling. I am not a mark, he thought, as she moved towards him, reaching her hand out to press at his chest, her voice silky. "I do not know what you are doing with Rivkin, Tony, but stay away from him. He is a legal attaché and nothing more." She smirked once more. "You're jealous of him, yes?"

Jealous!? He gaped at her. "Uh, I don't think so," he said. He grinned again. "Maybe he's jealous of me, you think of that?"

"Doubtful, Tony." She pursed her lips, serious once again. "I do not know what you expect me to tell you. Michael Rivkin is not Mossad, he is a legal attaché and any further inquiries will be treated as hostile and will be responded to by my government in kind." The smoothness of her brow flicked with a frown. "Please do not call me about him again."

"He's messing with NCIS investigations, Ziva." He set his jaw. "You aren't part of us anymore but you worked with us. You were a friend of Jenny's. You may be Israeli. You may be Mossad, but you still have a connection to us."

I'm playing the friendship card here, he thought, watching her face fade to blankness. She shrugged, her hands still in her pockets. "I have nothing to tell you beyond what I already have. Please drop this." She turned away and took a few steps back towards the alley, when he suddenly had a thought. There was a surveillance photo he'd found of Rivkin, the FBI had it. Of her and him together.

Shot in the dark, probably going to get slapped, but I need to know. "You're sleeping with him?" he called. "That what this about? I'm asking about your boyfriend's illegal activity in this country?" She froze, her back still to him. He smirked. Yes. Got it. "That's what this is about. You're protecting him. From Daddy."

Very slowly, she turned. Any sympathy, any friendship, anything that bespoke to their connection, was gone. Her eyes were dark and angry. "You are lucky I do not kill you where you stand," she murmured.

"You'll get your shot again Ziva."

"Is that a promise?"

"Consider it a warning," he said, dropping to coldness. This had not gone the way he expected it would. He played it all wrong and he was pissed about that. Ziva was too close with Rivkin, why shouldn't she be? It pissed him off for reasons unknown. He thought she'd help them, but no way, not if they were together. Not if Eli David had them working together for some reason.

She smirked. "I will." She lifted her hand, waving slightly. "Goodbye Tony."

"Goodbye Ziva," he whispered, watching her slip back into the shadows. His heart was beating so fast he could hear it pulsing in his head. He released a hard breath, turning to go back to the car. He climbed into the front seat and closed his eyes, scrubbing at his face. Son of a bitch. He hit his head back against the headrest, opening his eyes when the passenger side door opened. "Boss I screwed up."

"He left when she smashed the earpiece."

He glanced sideways at Kate, who was frowning at him, huddling in her coat, her hands folded in front of her lips, blowing in them to keep them warm. He closed his eyes again, sighing hard. "She's sleeping with Rivkin, we basically just challenged each other to a duel."

"A duel with a Mossad officer? You're a bad shot Tony."

"I have a feeling this one will slit my throat."

"Very likely." Kate looked beyond him out the window, whispering. "So what are you going to do? It backfired, we don't have anything beyond what we had this morning about the guy. Ziva's no help anymore, not if she's personally involved with him. Or friendly Mossad liaison is no longer." She scowled. "Thanks to Vance."

We deal with it like we deal with anything else. Push forward. He'd handle Ziva at a later date. This was far from over.

* * *

 _June 2009_

I think I'm going to die in a Mossad dungeon, he thought, watching Eli David leaving the conference room, infuriated that "Agent Meatball" as he referred to him as, had gotten the one up. Don't try to play me, he might as well have said to David. I may not have Mossad's training, but I've got street smarts. I can bullshit and talk anyone into and out of anything. It was one of the few things he was good at and knew he was good at. He glanced at the camera in the corner again, feeling slightly hurt at what he'd just done.

He'd basically gotten Ziva's father to admit that he had ordered Rivkin to get close to her. Ziva had been on the other side of the camera. It was necessary. She had to know the truth, if she wanted to kill him for murdering Rivkin, that was fine. Maybe he deserved it in her eyes, but she deserved to know that Rivkin may not have had the same feelings for her that she had for him. Or maybe he did, who knew. Whatever the man felt, he'd been threatened enough to try to kill me, Tony thought, feeling his shoulder continue to ache from the separation. The long flight had done nothing to help.

He stood up and left the room, since Eli had left the door wide open, and walked down the hall, where Vance and Gibbs were already waiting. "Well?" he said softly.

"You're in it now," Vance said.

You're the one throwing me to the wolves, he thought, eyeing his Director with distaste. They should not have come here to answer for Rivkin's death. They should have ordered Eli and his crew to come to D.C., pick up the body, and explain themselves then. He had no room to talk when it came to too close relationships with Mossad officers. He had been called to the carpet a few times now for how he could just call up one at will. He waited for Vance to disappear to join Eli David, glancing at Gibbs. "Where is she?" he asked.

Gibbs said nothing and then cleared his throat. "Getting air." He moved by Gibbs, who called out down the hallway. "Watch yourself DiNozzo."

He left the building, stepping out into a courtyard, looking over to see Kate leaning against a railing, looking out at the skyline. There were few tall buildings and you could see straight out to the Mediterranean. He walked over to her and sighed hard. "Tell McGee I'm sorry for torturing him those first couple years, you know, if they take me to some black site to torture me."

She glanced up at him. "You shouldn't have done what you did," she said quietly. She sighed and leaned back, shaking her head. "Vance brought us here to show we had nothing to hide. That you were in the right and Rivkin was in the wrong." She glanced sideways again. "You didn't have to do that, not with her on the other side of the glass."

I did have to do it. She needed to know what sort of man Rivkin was. Getting close to her, keeping tabs on her, keeping tabs on me…all because Daddy said so. He ran his tongue over his teeth, sighing. "Forget it Kate."

"Do you love her?"

That was…highly unexpected. He shot her a look. They were standing in a courtyard in Mossad Headquarters. Every breath was probably under surveillance. He snorted. "Love? Why would I love someone who wants me dead?" He fiddled with the edge of his sling, his shoulder hurting. It still felt like blades of glass were shoved underneath the joint. He'd never dislocated it before and had no intention of doing it again after this healed.

Kate stared at him for a moment, profiling him, scanning him, he was used to it by now. So far she'd been way off the mark with some of her assessments but then again…there was the occasion where she read him 100% spot on. They'd been partners now for a little over six years. They were friends, despite their tendency to piss each other off on a daily basis. She shook her head, imperceptible, whispering. "You went to her apartment because you thought she might be there…you were looking for something? Instead you found Rivkin. Why didn't you just call her Tony? Why not just call her, call Vance, call Gibbs hell…just anything? You went to try to talk to her before you did anything else. Why would you do that? What did it matter to you?" She poked her finger into his chest, tapping it against his heart, leaning in to his ear, maybe so the microphones couldn't pick her up. "You need to talk to her, before we leave. See what you can do to salvage your relationship." She broke away slightly and smiled again. "In fact, I think she wants to talk to you too."

"Tony!"

He straightened at the hard call of his name. "Thanks Kate," he whispered. He shrugged. "But I got it." I don't love her, he told himself, turning as he watched her approach. "Ziva."

"Will excuse us Agent Todd?" Ziva snapped. She was on fire. The sunlight glinted off her eyes, which resembled chips of coal. She was vibrating. I'm about to die, he thought, glancing at Kate and nodding the okay for her. Kate nodded back and stepped aside, watching him carefully as she hurried off, probably to go find Gibbs.

And now here we are. "You talk to your father?" he asked, smirking at her. He glared back at her almost growl. He laughed. "This place is nice. You staying on full-time still? Working for Mossad, after all that happened?"

"You jeopardized your entire career!" she screamed. They were the only ones in the courtyard. He knew there was a camera somewhere, watching them. No doubt her father wanted to see what happened. She jabbed her finger at him, yelling. "And for what?"

Are you in love with her, Kate just asked him. He stared straight at her, taking in the pain in her eyes, hiding behind the bravado she was showing to him and the world. She was heartbroken when Michael died. Devastated. Couldn't have cared less about what happened to him, since he was the guy that killed her boyfriend. He meant what he said when he told them he went to her apartment to try and talk to her about it. She was in town, he knew she was in town, and he wanted to find out what she knew of it, give her the opportunity to take care of her own affairs before he brought the news of Rivkin to his superiors. Rivkin was there first, it was Rivkin who attacked first. "For you," he whispered.

I did it for you, he thought, seeing the surprise in her eyes. She stared back, her chest heaving, and then he braced himself, seeing her tense. She let out a howl of pain and kicked at his ankles knocking him onto the concrete. He felt his shoulder give and he winced at the pain that radiated through. He didn't give her any indication of what she'd done, just accepting her tortured gaze. "You killed him!"

"Rivkin attacked me! I was just defending myself."

She grabbed at her gun and pointed it into his chest. "You could have shot him in the leg! But no, you let him up! You put four in his chest!"

The sobs behind her words resonated with him. This wasn't someone angry that their partner was shot. This wasn't even just someone mourning their boyfriend's death. He lifted his eyebrows, whispering. "You loved him."

She heaved sobs and breaths, swallowing them back. "I guess we'll never know," she whispered. She shoved her gun back into her side and straightened up over him, getting to her feet. She looked over her shoulder at him, saying nothing. He just looked straight back at her. The tension was palpable. They didn't know what they were, they never did. Were they friends? Did they love each other? They were former co-workers with a contentious connection. I don't love her, he said to himself. I don't. She was a contact. He could care less if he ever heard from her again.

I just don't want to die in Israel, he thought, getting back up. He watched her walk away, her hand lifted to her face. She was crying. He didn't think he'd ever see Ziva cry before. He closed his eyes tight and turned from the door, opening them again and looking over to where Kate stood. She had seen at least most of it. He waited for her to walk over. "Vance spoke with Director David," she whispered. She reached to adjust the sling on his arm. Her hands pressed into his forearm, burning into him. "It seems Mossad is accepting what happened. They aren't happy about it, but in the interest of protecting their relationship with us, they're going to take it. Rivkin was acting on his own." She set her jaw, whispering. "He was jealous."

It wasn't about love or jealousy. "I was giving her the opportunity to explain what another Mossad officer was doing on American soil, whether he was rogue or not," he said quietly. He reached over and rubbed at her shoulder, smirking. "I have this thing about rogue Mossad officers in the United States."

She smiled and shook her head, whispering. "If that's what you need to tell yourself Tony." She swallowed hard. "It might have been about that, about making sure she was remaining loyal and all, but we both know even if that was your reasoning for it, Rivkin thought something completely different."

I don't care what he thought. He was dead now, if that's what he thought. "Rivkin would have killed me," he said.

"Ducky said the blood alcohol content was about twice the legal limit. Rivkin would have had you dead." Kate let out a shaky breath. "She was there, when Ducky said that. She knows what Rivkin was doing…I don't know what she's thinking now, but whatever it is, don't take it personally, huh?" I don't take anything personally with Ziva because it isn't personal. It's strictly business. She's not part of my family. She's not one of us. She's just Ziva. The Mossad liaison who wasn't a liaison anymore. Just someone he could call when he needed something. He didn't say anything. Kate nodded towards the door. "Come on, we've got another meeting with the Director and then we're shipping out."

Get me out of this country, I'll be happy when we're in the air, he thought, not wanting to stay too long in case Director David changed his mind. He followed her into the building, sat through the lectures by Eli David, all the time glaring at the man who would do such terrible things to his daughter. He watched the interaction between her and her father. He thought he had a stressful relationship with his dad. This was off the charts. They must have talked. He didn't say anything when they were summarily dismissed, riding to the airport in silence.

He took one look at her as she dropped his bag on the ground in front of the C-130's hangar. Gibbs was glaring at her. Something went on there, he didn't know what it was, but there was definitely a disruption in the force. Kate shrugged when he glanced at her, questioning, and said goodbye, always the polite one, and made her way up into the aircraft with Vance. He nodded to her. "Goodbye Ziva." Shalom, they used to say. Peace. There was no peaceful sendoff here.

She said nothing to him, just glared at him with the same combination of regret and pain she'd looked at him with in the courtyard. There would be no more phone calls, he thought, tearing his gaze away and walking up into the hangar. Gibbs joined them a moment later. Kate called out over the sound of the engines spinning up. "So she's staying, huh?"

"She's staying."

Why wouldn't she stay, he thought, looking at Vance, who was adjusting the headset over his ears, not looking at them. He glanced at Kate, who leaned over, calling to him. "Vance offered her a position back at NCIS, if she wanted it. Liaison again."

Why would he do that? There was now ay she was going to come work with him again, not after what he'd done. He glanced at Gibbs, who had his eyes closed, and wondered what had gone on between those two. Guess he'd never know. He looked to the hangar, which was beginning to close, watching the woman on the tarmac stare back at him, the wind blowing her dark hair around her face. She lifted her fingertips up to brush it away and he didn't blink, burning the image to memory. It would be the last he'd see of her, he was positive. He closed his eyes as the back of the aircraft closed with a bang, locking into place.

Off we go. Back to the United States, where he wouldn't have to ever deal with Ziva David ever again.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This one is LONG. Wanted to make sure I got both post-Somalia and Paris in there. Thank you so much for the reviews, I am glad people are enjoying this.**

* * *

 _September 2009_

The minute the bag pulled over her head, she began to pray for death.

She had prayed for it daily, since her capture, and made peace with it. Every day she endured torture, beatings, and repeated doses of truth serum, but none of it worked. Saleem seemed to forget in all his vast research on how to build the perfect cocktail of torture drugs that Mossad trained them to endure such things. She had been subjected to so much truth serum it did absolutely nothing to her, her body used to it. So she told lies. Then he figured them out. And then the beatings continued.

She did not expect the bag to come off this time. When it did, when she saw him sitting there, tied to the chair before her, she couldn't breathe. The gasp was not in shock that she was alive, but that he was there. It seemed the stunned look on his face was real as well. Made even more so by the revelation he was undergoing interrogation via Saleem's little truth cocktail. She did not know what to say. Mossad had left her there to die. There was no backup, no escape plan…she'd come to realize that on her fourth week there. She had to do it on her own, yes, but Malachi should have come through when she'd failed to kill Saleem by the deadline.

There were so many screw-ups, she thought, blinking through tears. She had been hit by a wave of nausea and emotion, not used to sleeping in a bed, in an actual apartment, so long after learning to accept a dirt floor was her only source of comfort. She turned in the bed, staring at the ceiling, and trying to purge the memories from her mind, but it was impossible. They just kept coming. The look in his eyes at seeing her alive. The attempt to cover it up with laughter and jokes.

 _Why are you here?_

 _Couldn't live without you, I guess._

They came for her. Her agency left her to die to correct a mistake. Her father left her to die. She pushed it from her mind and turned in the bed, trying to fall back asleep. She did not sleep through the night anymore. She couldn't possibly. How long had she been back in the real world? Only a week. That was not enough time for anyone. She lifted her head when there was a soft knock at the door. "Yes?" she called.

The door creaked open, light from the hall flooding into the room adorned with rather feminine and sleek decorations. It was a room she would not have chosen for herself, but as it was freely given in a country where she did not have a job at the moment, she took it. "Are you okay? I thought I heard a noise." Kate Todd leaned against the doorjamb, her hand going to her hip. She looked like she had just gotten home from her date, still wearing a dress and high-heels.

Ziva sat up, looping her arms around her knees, nodding slightly. "I'm fine. I can't sleep." She smiled quickly. "Sorry to disturb you." She hesitated. This was an awkward arrangement. "Um…I wanted you to know that I would find alternative housing by tomorrow afternoon. So you shouldn't have to worry about coming home early from your dates to make sure I'm not stealing anything." It was meant to be a joke, but it felt flat, Kate's brow still furrowed. "Bad joke," she mumbled, tossing the covers back from the bed and standing up. Now that she could not sleep, she would go for a run.

Kate flashed a quick smile. "Trust me, I didn't come back early from my date by choice. The guy took three calls from his mother during dinner."

"Oh my."

"Yeah, tell me about it. One of these days I'll find a nice man to settle down with, but tonight was clearly not that night. Remind me never to accept a date from a guy I meet at the gym. They never live up t the image they present," Kate said, flashing a quick smile. She gestured. "Come on, I'll get you a drink."

"I was going to go for a run."

"Well then you can drink before your run and before I go to bed."

She smiled a little. This was a forced friendship, out of circumstance and necessity than by choice. She nodded and closed her eyes again, waiting for the door to close before falling back onto the mattress. Every time she shut her eyes, she could see him sitting there. She had not spoken to him about it. A week back and she had seen him in the office. There was tension, of course. He killed Michael, a voice screamed to her.

Yes, but Michael may have only been with you because of your father, another rational voice piped up. They were the same voices that spoke to her daily. Hourly, every time she let herself think of this. She could not put it away no matter how hard she tried. She blew out a hard breath and got to her feet, changing into running clothes. She would run it away from her mind. Even if temporarily. She exited the bedroom and found Kate pouring a glass of bourbon for her. "I thought you were kidding," she blurted out.

"Like I said, drink before your run." Kate lifted her drink up to her lips, smiling over the rim. "Cheers."

In silent cheers, she lifted her glass and sipped carefully. Bourbon was never her drink of choice, she preferred vodka or gin. "Thanks," she murmured. Why was Kate being so nice to her? The offer of letting her stay at her apartment. The drink. It unnerved her. Kate was a profiler, Ari had targeted and shot her…she hated her. So why being nice? "I will not keep you," she said, setting her glass back down. "I am sorry your date went poorly."

"Like I said, no more guys from the gym."

"Perhaps from work?" Ziva was unsure what prompted her to say it. She regretted it immediately. She ran her tongue over her teeth as Kate pulled back, surprised. "I am sorry, I did not mean how that sounded." Surely there were feelings between DiNozzo and Kate. They had been partners for seven years now. Everyone in Mossad eventually slept with each other. She knew Gibbs and his Rules may have prevented it, but still. She knew they played a game with each other in the office, Tony said it was just brother-sister bantering, but she didn't believe it completely.

Kate frowned at her, waiting a beat. "You mean Tony?"

"Or McGee."

"They're like my brothers," Kate said. She shrugged again, smiling. "I have a bunch of them already, it's easier for me to think of them like that." She narrowed her gaze. "Tony is my partner." She pursed her lips for a moment and then frowned again. "If you want to know the truth Ziva, Gibbs asked me if I would let you stay here because I had a free room and because he wanted my professional opinion of how you were doing after everything that happened. I didn't do this for Tony. It's for Gibbs."

Gibbs wanted her to stay here? She turned her drink around on the table, frowning deeper. "And what will you tell him?" she whispered.

"The truth. That whatever happened to you in Somalia hasn't ruined you but you're pushing through. You need to talk Ziva." Kate pasued. She shook her head and scowled. "I have a sister…I'm not close with her, we don't talk…um…she's a psychologist. She's not bad, I mean…she does stuff with trauma. I think maybe you should give her a call?"

I am not sick. I do not need a doctor. She grabbed her workout jacket from where it was hanging over a chair, shoving her arms into it angrily. "I am fine, thank you for letting me stay here." She scowled over at her. "Like I said, it will not be for very long."

"You can leave whenever you want to leave, I'm not forcing you here, but if you think you need to leave because you're hampering whatever I may have going on with Tony, you are sorely mistaken." Kate laughed, crossing her arms over her chest. She leaned back on her heel, grinning. "I didn't do this for Tony, I did it for Gibbs. I also wasn't the one who was acting the way he was these past few months." She shook her head again, whistling under her breath. "You two have a lot to talk about. I will never pretend to know what sort of connection you guys have between you and frankly I don'tw ant to know. Seeing as it is DiNozzo it's probably something disgusting." She smirked again. "But it's there and when he came back from Israel he thought everything was fine, he even claimed to be happy. Except time went on and when he didn't hear a word about you, he started sniffing. So did Gibbs. For whatever reason you impacted them Ziva. Then the news came in that you were dead."

It was her understanding from Abby that when they believed she was dead, that was when Gibbs and Tony decided to go look for her. "I understand they thought they had to come find me," she mumbled. She shook her head fast. "I did not ask them…"

"Cut the martyr bullshit Ziva. They did it because both of them care about you. Gibbs doesn't give that away freely and Tony…" Kate shook her head again, whispering, dropping the anvil as she grabbed her glass and moved towards the hallway, to her bedroom. She tossed her dark hair from her eyes and smiled again. "Ziva, Tony's life seemed to lose all meaning when he found out you were dead. I have never seen him so singularly hellbent on something before. He would go to the end of the Earth to save you." She smiled softer and moved to her door. "And he did, just to get revenge. I can't imagine what he's thinking now that you're alive."

The bedroom door closed with a light click, leaving her stranded in the kitchen with a glass of bourbon she didn't want and a lack of desire to go running. She stood there for several more minutes, processing that all. Gibbs started poking around. Tony found her. Tony came for revenge and found her instead. She closed her eyes hard. He killed Michael. He did not trust her. He had no reason to, the rational voice screamed. You were not coworkers. You were two different operatives. Of course he had no reason to trust you.

She set the glass down and tugged the hood of the jacket over her head, snagging her phone and headphones. She left, starting a jog, but then moved to full-out running. Her heart pounded in her ears and blood pumped through her veins. She could feel her entire body pulsating as she ran through the D.C. streets. Everything muddled together. Finding Tony and Michael, getting captured in Somalia, the torture, the rescue…the return. She could not breathe after a time and she didn't know if it was from the fervent pace with which she ran or the pain that welled up in her heart. She turned in circles at a corner, trying to figure out where she was.

In her haste to leave the apartment she did not grab ID or money. Great. She looked at her phone. It was almost midnight. She looked up at the building behind her and paused. I have been here before, she thought, looking to the callbox. She walked up to it and was about to ring for him, when a couple stumbled out of the front door, not paying her any attention. She slipped in through the crack of the door in time and hurried through the lobby to the elevator. After she got to his floor, she almost turned around, but thought again. She was already there, after all. He would go to the end of the Earth to save you, Kate said. A woman who did not know anything about her.

I do not understand these feelings, she thought, reaching for the doorknob. She closed her eyes and looked at the lock. Simple. A bobby pin from her hair did the trick, unlocking in less than a minute. She entered the apartment, which was dark save for a light above the stove. She slipped into his bedroom and watched him from the doorway. He was fast asleep, looking like a corpse the way he folded his hands on his stomach, lying flat as a board. She smiled and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Her hand went to his shoulder. "Tony," she whispered. She shook him. "Tony."

"Augh!"

She jumped back, startled as he flung towards her. "Relax, it's me," she said.

"Relax?" he gasped, pressing a hand to his chest. He blinked rapidly in the darkness. "Oh my God, I think I'm having heart palpitations. Whoa…relax!? How am I supposed to relax when I'm awakened at midnight by a crazy Israeli chick breaking into my apartment!?" He jumped a bit and pulled the comforter to his chest, scowling at her. "And I'm not even decent."

"It is not like you are with a lady friend." She looked at the bed they were seated on, smirking. "Not that there is much room."

"You bust into my apartment to go after my sleeping habits or are you here to finally kill me?" He stretched out beside her, propping his head up on his hand, his voice oddly calm for someone who just woke to someone in their apartment uninvited. It was almost like he had been expecting her. He cocked his head a little, his voice dropping to a serious whisper. "Because I'm not in the mood. It can wait until the morning."

"You came to find me." It was out of her mouth before she knew. She looked over at him in the darkness. There was moonlight coming in through the slight cracks in the blinds on either side of the bed. The dull, eerie glow shined on his face. He narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. She nodded slightly. Her eyes dropped to her hands. "Because I did not ask you to come for me. You did…it was stupid and silly of you and…and you should not have come to find me about Michael…"

He smirked. "Yeah well I learned that the hard way. Hindsight is 20/20."

She didn't know what to say. Things had to be said. "You were silly and reckless and…and completely without backup…" She blew out a hard breath, rounding on him, angry. He was a fool! A complete, utter fool who did not know what he was doing. "I am not your partner anymore Tony! You do not get to come after me, you do not get to say you are saving me!"

"Well too bad, I did."

"And I did not ask for it! Do you know how this makes me feel?" She climbed off the bed, pushing her hands against her chest, laughing at him. "We are not friends, we are not partners…we…we are barely even contacts." That was all a lie. There was no denying what he did. She still just…she couldn't come to terms with it. She closed her eyes tight, murmuring. "I should not have doubted you." That was what it boiled down to. Tony DiNozzo's gut was as good as Gibbs's. They had that trusting connection, which they should not have, given that they were on competing sides, but they did. He was a good cop. She should have trust him.

He got out of the bed. She found he was wearing sweatpants to go with the t-shirt he had on. He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, dropping them down to her elbows and holding her in place gently. "No you shouldn't have," he whispered. He sighed hard. "But you did and we're still here. So now what?"

Now I find a place to live here in the United States. I find a job. "I need time from Mossad," she murmured. She needed to get away from it completely. It had taken too much from her. She closed her eyes, seeing him again, feeling her ribs ache from the beatings. She wrapped her arms around her side instinctively at the feeling. He noticed and did nothing. She sighed, swallowing hard. "I am fine."

"You were tortured, left to die in the desert…you're not fine."

"I said….I said I was fine." She moved from him. If she left to go run some more it would be better. She felt him tug her back to him. And became acutely aware of how little clothing there was between them. Damnit, she thought, her arm going around his neck. She brushed her nose against his and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "I need to leave."

He smoothed his hand over her cheek, cupping at her jawbone. His thumb brushed at her cheekbone and he smiled down at her again, whispering. "You are going to be okay. Just give it time."

Time is something I cannot afford to lose at the moment. She would just deal with it. She reached for him again and kissed his cheek once more. "I will see you tomorrow," she whispered.

"Where are you going to be?"

At work. At NCIS. I will find something to do. She let go of him, stepping out of his bedroom. She shot a look over his shoulder, seeing him standing in the doorway, watching her. She felt a pang shoot through her stomach. The desire to run at him and kiss him. To thank him for what he'd done. To diffuse the tension. I can't, she thought. That was something she would have done before. This was after. She heaved a breath and tore herself from his apartment, closing the door behind her firmly.

She returned to Kate's place, saying nothing to her the following morning as she gathered her things and checked into a hotel. She spoke to Vance. Sent her father an email. Stopped at the Israeli Embassy. She had a lot of time to think about it and a lot of time to come to her decision. About a week later, she found herself in front of his apartment door again. She sighed hard and lifted her knuckles to knock at it, when she heard a voice call from behind her.

"Remind me to tell the HOA to fire the doorman."

She turned on her heel, smiling. Her hands disappeared into her pockets. "It is not his fault, your neighbors just like holding the door open for me."

Tony approached her, looking exhausted, his backpack hanging down from his elbow, too tired to push it back to his shoulder. "What are you doing here?" he asked, unlocking the door and pushing it forward, waiting for her to enter. He set his bag down and disengaged his gun from his hip, setting it in a box. "You want a drink?"

"No, I…I came to talk to you."

"Oh?"

She closed the door behind her and moved to the center of his living room. The piano seemed to beckon to her. Entranced, she sank onto the bench and pushed the cover back, her fingers running lightly over the ivory keys. Her eyes closed and she touched her fingertips to them, pressing gently and began to play the first thing that popped into her mind. She played from memory, feeling everything kind of disappear from her, her shoulders falling and the image of her little sister singing along to the piano flooding her mind. It pushed out the screaming, the pain, and the taunts from Saleem that resonated in there most of the day and night.

When she finished, soft clapping interrupted her blank thoughts. She blinked and looked over at him. "Bravo," he said, walking over to her. He sat down on the bench beside her, glancing sideways. "What are you doing here Ziva? And I know it's not to play my piano."

The piano in her apartment was destroyed when Mossad blew it up trying to get rid of anything Mossad had left behind. She shrugged again, smiling a little. "I wanted to talk to you…to tell you…" She paused and glanced at him again. This was harder than she thought it would be. She reached to touch at the keys again. "Um…I have decided to leave Mossad." He said nothing. She did not expect him to. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she continued to speak. "I spoke with Director Vance…I would like to become an NCIS agent but there are no openings in D.C. So…as much as I would like to work with all of you, until someone leaves…" She trailed off and smiled quickly, glancing sideways. "I have decided to…to freelance."

It was something she'd thought about when Vance told her that the only position was as Mossad liaison. Without that connection, she had to find something else. She had to become an American citizen to work in the United States and the paper work had been filed already. In the meantime she would do what she'd done before. Pop in when there was something she could help with. Otherwise she would…do what she needed to do. Vance had set up some opportunities for her. She had all her contacts in Europe and the Middle East.

He cocked his head slightly. "So you're going to be a US citizen?"

"Yes."

"And who says we want you?" he teased.

She laughed, shrugging and glancing at him again. "Well Israel will always be in my heart, but…I have felt more at home in this country than I did in my own in recent years." She played a few chords, watching as his fingers danced along at the end of the piano. She had the low keys and he had the high ones, her left hand playing while his right went along. After a few minutes, she lifted her head again to his. "You know as an American citizen this makes things easier between us."

"I don't have to file a report each time I speak with you?"

"Yes."

He laughed. "Yeah, that does make it easier." He ran his tongue over his teeth, whispering. "So you're going to be around?"

To a point. She nodded. "I will be. I am actually leaving to return to Israel. There are things I need to close out there." She would go from there to Marseilles. To work out of the NCIS office there while her paperwork processed. She'd return for the requisite meetings and time she had to spend in the US to get her citizenship. Maybe then there would be an opening. Kate had made some noises about going into training development, but that would mean a move to Georgia and she wasn't ready for that yet.

His hand went to her forearm, squeezing lightly. "Do you want to talk?"

No. It would be best if she could just block it out. She tossed her hair over her shoulder again. "Not right now…I just…" She glanced at him again, whispering. "Thank you." There. It hurt to say it, since she was still burned from what he'd done. Regardless…he did almost die for her. She bit her lower lip and leaned her shoulder into his. He leaned back, smiling down at her. When she tilted her head back, she knew what was going to happen. Her fingers reached up and threaded through his hair, accepting his kiss, even though she knew that they shouldn't go any farther.

What was it between us, she wondered, that prompted them to feel this way about each other despite the fact they ultimately didn't know each other that well. He'd gone around the world to avenge her. She couldn't help the little moan that escaped her when he pulled away from the kiss, her fingers still folded at the base of his neck. His forehead touched hers and he kissed her quickly one more time. "You're welcome," he said, still smiling.

She pushed off the bench, before this could go any farther. Her fingers drifted over his shoulder and down to his hand, squeezing. Their eyes met and she saw something in his. Did he know it was there? She hoped it didn't show in hers. It wasn't love. It wasn't even desire. It was just…friendship. Caring. Connection. "I should go," she whispered.

"Kate said you left."

"I need my space." She smiled quickly. "And I do not think Kate likes me."

"She's just jealous. Another pretty girl on the cheerleading squad, that sort of thing."

Yes, maybe. "She cares for you too," she said softly.

His eyebrow arched and she froze. He chuckled, spinning on the bench. "You care for me?"

She shrugged and walked backwards to the door. A laugh escaped her. "Care about you? Well I suppose I have to now…you did save my life." She leaned against the front door, her eyes narrowing on his. They needed to end this before they got too deep. She tapped her fingers on the doorknob, calling out to him. "I will be in Marseilles for a few months. Look me up." Vance said she still had to go through NCIS psych counseling and therapy, which she was not looking forward to, but for now, she had to stay away from him.

He squinted. "Marseilles?"

"I told you, no openings here. I'll see you around," she called.

The last time they said goodbye…she waited a moment and turned, whispering. "Shalom." Peace. It would be a nice thing to have. She did not wait for him to say anything back to her, leaving quickly. She returned to her hotel, gathered her things, and made a point of stopping in to see Gibbs. To give him a gift she had acquired for him, a chisel. A peace offering.

With all of that complete, she called Kate, left a message thanking her again for letting her stay at her apartment, told Abby she would be in touch, and drove to the airport. As she boarded her plane to Paris, her phone dinged with a text message. She looked down at the small screen, smiling to herself. _You can call you know. If you want to talk. And you really should talk. I like talking. Talk to me Ziva._

Talk to me, he requested. She just couldn't right now. She needed time. Although…she smiled softly and responded, her thumbs working quickly on the small keypad. _I will talk to you later. Getting on plane._ She paused for a moment and then bit her lower lip. His face flooded into her mind again, sitting across from her in that chair. She took a deep breath. It was going to take time. She closed her eyes and thought of what else to say to him. She couldn't right now, she just couldn't. She then opened her eyes and sent back one final message.

 _Rule 45_

As she moved to turn her phone off, another message popped up and she smiled. _Rule 28. I'll be around._

As long as we both know, she thought, nodding to herself, turning the phone off and shoving it away in her bag. She slouched down in her seat, preparing for the long flight ahead.

* * *

 _January 2010_

She scanned the café in Paris, searching for her contact. The witness that Vance contacted her about was still in her hotel, would be at the US Embassy in two days to get escorted to the United States to testify, but she was supposed to meet up with an agent from D.C. who would also accompany them. Afterward, he said he wanted to talk to her about some things. Her future. She shoved her hands into the pocket of her coat, warding off the winter chill. A Special Agent Max Welker was her contact and she'd taken a look at his photo before she left, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Ziva!"

A voice called out her name and she spun on her heel, a smile flirted around her lips when she saw who it was. She walked slowly towards him, meeting him halfway on the sidewalk in front of the café. "Bonjour," she said, leaning in to give him a hug. As she did, she kissed his cheeks, twice for good measure and to keep up the French cover. She pulled back, gripping his forearms. "I was supposed to meet Special Agent Max…"

"Welker, yeah, I traded with him." Tony let go of her and gestured towards a free table. He sank down in the chair across from her and studied her for a few minutes across the table, still smiling. This wasn't one of his friendly, shit-eating grin smiles either. It was rather flirtatious, she thought, returning the look. He looked up when the waiter came over and ordered coffee, in a rather affected French accent.

She ordered the same, folding her hands on the table in front of her and smiling at him. "We have to meet the witness at the Embassy tomorrow morning. Have you ever been to Paris before?"

"Can't say as I have." He propped his head on his hand, reaching over to touch her fingers lightly. "So how have you been?"

He meant since she was recalled back to the States to answer for what happened on the _Damocles_. It hurt even worse the second time, going through everything again. Knowing what Mossad did. Knowing what her father did. The self-destructive path she was on at the time and the horrors they'd led to. The work she'd done to try to cope with it had been difficult and sporadic. The therapy was awful and she quit after the third week. She didn't necessarily pass her psych evaluations but she didn't fail either. She even spoke with Dr. Rachel Cranston, Kate's sister, and that helped. She still had nightmares. She still didn't sleep through the night. And working out helped a bit. Even the random contact she had with him, occasional emails and texts. Mostly she tried to pretend he didn't exist.

"Fine," she answered. Thankfully the waiter came back with their drinks before he could ask her any further details. Now was not the time for that anyway. The cup of _café au lait_ she held seeped warmth into her cold hands, distracting her from the look he was giving her. She cleared her throat and lifted the cup to her lips, sipping and thinking about what to do next. This was unchartered territory for them. She looked back at him, quiet. "So how has it been in D.C.?"

"Fine," he retorted. He looked around the narrow street they were on, the sidewalks crammed with tables and chairs for the various cafes, benches with people reading newspapers and not caring about the world. His eyes narrowed slightly. "The vibe is weird."

Vibe? What was a vibe? She cocked her head and glanced around. "It is Paris. People do not care here."

"Yeah, I get that snooty French thing…"

"No," she chuckled. That too, but that was not what she was talking about. She shrugged again, her voice dropping. "The attitude here is not what it is in the United States. Things are slower. Less intense. It is one of the reasons I love Paris." She sipped her drink again. A long ago conversation popped into her head. The two of them in Montreal. When she was kidon and he was on assignment. She arched an eyebrow, wondering if she should bring it up.

No need, as he quirked his lip up and lifted his head. "I remember you told me that a few years ago. When we were in Montreal."

"Oui," she said.

"You loved Paris. Said it was one of your favorite cities."

"Because it is one of my favorite cities." Marseilles had been interesting. It had been a decent change for her. The act of investigating crimes and conducting threat assessments was slow and steady, which she needed. The thing about Marseilles was that it did not have the beauty Paris held for her. The mystique and the wandering around every corner getting lost in other centuries. She looked up at him again, that intense gaze focused on her. She swallowed the constricting feeling in her throat. "Paris is lovely, I enjoy it when I can come up here for a visit…I would even entertain the idea of living here one day."

He cocked his head. "Oh?"

"Yes." She said no more on the subject, clearing her throat again and reaching into her pocket, taking out some Euros to cover their coffees. "In fact, as it is your first time in Paris, I feel I should show you around. We only have one day until we pick up the witness…plenty of time to hit the highlighters." The minute she said whatever it was she said, she knew she'd screwed up something. Her eyes narrowed on him and he smiled, the shit-eating grin now plastered on his face. "What?" she demanded.

"It's highlights. Highlighters are those neon markers that college kids use to deface books in so-called attempts at studying."

She scowled at him and got to her feet, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "Highlights, whatever. We are in _Le Marais_ right now. Perfect point to start our trek."

"Trek?"

"Oh yes," she said, stepping off the sidewalk and leading him down the street. "Get your camera ready Tony, there is plenty to see."

How she regretted that statement as soon as she said it. The little digital camera was out, a silly device he had glued to his eyeball the entire time they walked through Paris. The first day they saw everything. He wanted to see the Eiffel Tower, le Centre Pompidou, the Louvre, pretend he was getting his head chopped off by a guillotine in the Place de la Concorde, and even reenacted scenes from The Hunchback of Notre Dame when they went to the famous cathedral. They did the tourist things, her impatiently waiting while he sized up shots on his camera, and they did not so tourist things.

She perused marketplace stands as they meandered through tiny streets, translated his terrible French when there was a mistaken order of stinky cheese instead of the grilled cheese he wanted at lunch, and they even took a leisurely stroll down the Seine. In Paris you could disappear from the world and pretend you were in other times, let alone other lives, and she used that to her advantage. It was where nothing bad had ever happened to Ziva David, where she could walk down a street in the company of a man who was just a friend. Enjoy his company, which she did. It seemed even Paris stripped him of his annoying traits or at least, made them bearable. In fact, they even were rather endearing. Like translating his French, waiting for him to take pictures, and even allowing him to rent a moped so they could zoom around like they were in _Roman Holiday_. Set in Rome, she reminded him, but he just laughed and said then it was Parisian Holiday for them.

As the day wore on, she laughed more and smiled more. Forgot more. She realized why she liked him. He was charming. He had a wicked sense of humor. They did not get along for good reason. They found that their disagreements were often the source of some of their funniest moments. Like when he insisted on speaking French and she had to fix all the mistakes, a flip on him always correcting her English. Evening rolled around and she found herself closer and closer to him, something she had wanted to avoid.

They had finished dinner, a rather romantic dinner they pretended wasn't romantic at all, despite the other couples around them kissing, holding hands, or in one case that they made fun of to take the heat off their own feelings, fed each other rather messily. She drew her purse strap up on her shoulder, gesturing down the street. "Our hotel is down the street. We can take a cab."

He shook his head, hands in the pockets of his coat. "No, let's walk. It's a beautiful night." It was freezing and there was a light drizzle of rain. She said nothing and walked beside him. They bumped shoulders a few times. He cleared his throat again. "Kate has been talking about taking an assignment in Georgia."

"You told me this last time."

"Yeah, I just…thought you should know I think she's getting more serious about it."

"Would it be a promotion?"

"Yeah."

"Then good for her." She did not want to talk about work. That was Agents David and DiNozzo, not Ziva and Tony. Right now she felt like being them instead. She lifted her face up to the sky, pointing. "What do you call that?"

"Stars."

"The shapes."

He smiled down at her. "Constellations."

She nodded. That's what the word was. "In Israel, where I grew up, there are no lights for many miles. At nighttime my sister and I would sneak out into the olive orchard…we would lie there on blankets and make up stories about them. It was cooler sometimes in the trees than in the house." Quieter too, depending on if her mother and father were fighting.

He cleared his throat, whispering. "You don't talk about your sister."

There was not much she wanted to talk about with Tali. Tali was light and pure and good and dead before her time. "She was an angel," she whispered. Demons took her from me. She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets, clenching them into fists. "She was the only good thing in the family. All of us were monsters." She lifted her head back up to him, smiling quickly. "I heard your father was involved in a case recently."

That changed the subject instantly. It was his turn to clam up and thankfully they were no longer discussing her family. He was exasperated, but there was love in his voice. "Yeah, Senior wandered into the wrong business deal. Almost messed up everything with Gibbs." She wondered what Gibbs would think of Tony's father, a man she had never met but had only heard stories of. The stories surely would not have fared well with Gibbs. Tony chuckled. "He hit on Kate. That was kind of funny…I don't think he likes her very much. He asked about you though."

"Me?"

"Yeah, uh…the picture of us from…" He paused and then shrugged. "I have a picture of us on my desk from one of the cases we worked when you were here. The married one."

Ah, Jean-Paul and Sophie. She rose on her toes, cooing to him. "Jean-Paul, _mon petit pois_."

"Oui, oui, sweetcheeks."

She laughed with him, not realizing she'd looped her arms around his arm for a few more blocks. Eventually she let go, neither of them saying anything. She glanced back up at him. "So your father asked about me? What did you tell him?"

"Well I didn't really have to, Abby clued him in. He's fascinated by the Mossad officer angle. Thinks he may have met your father." He set his jaw. "Sorry."

For what? For mentioning her former employer and her father? Who at one time had been both? She shook her head. It didn't matter. "It's fine." She kept walking, finally looking up at the hotel, gesturing. "It's here. I checked my bag at the desk, they did not have any rooms cleaned when I arrived."

"Same."

"Well let's check in then." They went up to the desk and she translated, finding out there was only one room left. No big deal, they said. They'd take it. Saves the government money, he figured. They took the keys and their bags, going upstairs. It was a quaint little hotel near the old Jewish Quarter of Le Marais, a place where she'd lived during her stint there with Mossad. She knew the streets like the back of her hand and it was always good to know your territory. Just in case. This was an open and shut case. It wasn't even a case, they would take the witness to the States and she'd fly back, no big deal.

They entered the room and she set her bag in the corner, turning to choose her bed. She blinked. One bed. One tiny couch. He sensed the dilemma and gestured to the couch. "I'll take that, you can have the bed."

"No, don't worry about it, I'll take it." He would complain of his back. She didn't want to hear him whine of it all day on the plane tomorrow. She tugged a blanket and spare pillow from the closet, dropping them onto the couch. She fell down on the hard cushions, wincing. Maybe she should let him take it. This might kill her back too. She rubbed at her neck. It had been a long day; she forgot how much sightseeing took it out of you.

He was flicking through his pictures. "I tried doing some things with light and space," he said, preening over his photos. "I think they turned out very well if I do say so myself."

They were too sterile, but she wouldn't say that to him, not when he was so proud of them right now. She smiled and leaned against the back of the couch, propping her feet on the coffee table. "You know the last time we shared a hotel room, we had microphones and cameras on us. What will we do now that we're actually alone?" She turned to look at him and her smile faltered at the look he was giving her. Maybe this wasn't a good idea, talking about that time. She cleared her throat and sat up farther. "I probably should not have said anything." That was another lifetime ago.

"Why not?" He got up from the armchair beside her and took a spot next to her. He smiled. "We were on assignment."

She darted her gaze to him, still smiling. They may have been on assignment, but it had definitely been an interesting investigation. There had been plenty of times when she needed to feign relationships for Mossad. Even times when she'd gone all the way for a mark or a case, but…this had been different. She reached her hand to his and touched it. It was good they could at least enjoy each other. Months ago that had not been the case. She leaned in to him, at the same time he did to her. "I missed you," she murmured. It had been months and one day was not enough.

He murmured back. "Ziva David missed me? Has hell frozen over?"

She chuckled. "Do not ever repeat that. You may not live."

"Oh I have no doubt." He reached to her face and she froze as his hand drifted down her cheek. He fixed her with the look he'd had on this morning. That desirable, lazy look that said he knew what he wanted and he was going to get it. She stiffened, knowing this was a bad idea all around. So did he, but that wasn't going to stop them, she figured. His thumb dragged down her cheekbone. "Ziva," he whispered. "Talk to me."

I can't, she wanted to cry. She closed her eyes. "Tony," she mumbled. She touched her fingertips to his face, tracing over the scruff outlining his jaw, her hands going to the back of his neck. She opened her eyes briefly, still leaning in to him. She gripped at him. What are we doing? This was a mistake. This was Paris. It was like a drug. They were just Tony and Ziva, that's all they were. Tony and Ziva had fun, they laughed, and they did not care about what happened months before. They were just enjoying themselves. Enjoying life. "I feel a bit…jet lagged."

"You took a train," he chuckled over her lips, his hands now cupping her face.

Are we really doing this, she wondered. "I should go to bed," she continued, unable to stop herself as she started to push at his jacket. She shook her head. "And I will stay here, on the couch."

He shook his head this time, getting up slowly and in spite of herself she followed, both of them walking towards the bed. "No," he whispered, still not quite there yet with her. "No, you should definitely take the bed."

Well if you insist, she thought, finally crashing her lips against his. Oh God, she thought, moaning as he pulled at the bottom of her blouse, his hands diving beneath to encircle her waist, tugging her against him as they both entwined around each other, falling backwards onto the bed.

The following morning she woke up for the first time in months, since before Somalia, and felt rested. She smiled and burrowed deeper into his arms, sighing and patting at his chest. "You need deodorant," she mumbled, still pressed against him and unmoving.

He pulled the comforter up over them. "It's at the top of my to do list," he said, his voice gravelly with sleep. He was just as content as she was to not move for the remainder of the day. Except they couldn't. They had to be at the Embassy to pick up the witness and escort her back to the States. She turned away and wrapped her arms around the pillow, her eyes fluttering shut as she drifted back to sleep. It was so…comfy, she thought. The nice soft bed, the drizzle of the rain hitting the windowpane, and…and him. It was the most comfortable and relaxed she had been in years. She mumbled to herself as the memories of the day and evening before clouded into her mind. They really did have to get back to work, wake up and get something to eat before they headed to the Embassy. She sighed, turning slightly, her eyes opening to see that he was already dressing, buttoning up his shirt. He glanced over at her and smiled quickly. "I've got a more sights to see before we leave."

Leave, yes of course. They could not live in this world forever. Although that might be nice. She yawned and sat up, pulling the sheet with her as she rummaged through her bag, grabbing a set of clothes. With a quick, silent glance over her shoulder, she pushed into the bathroom to get ready. They didn't say anything to each other about what had happened the night before. She stood beneath the shower, letting the spray sting at her face as she scrubbed her hair, thinking about…about them.

They had an attraction. They always had, since she walked into that office. It had somehow withstood two agencies, many years, countless arguments and potential international incidents, and more pain than she wanted to acknowledge, so why shouldn't they act upon it when they weren't violating policies and laws and starting potential international incidents again? Now that they'd acted upon it, they would be fine. They could go their separate ways again, be coworkers and all that, but at the end of the day, the tension was diffused and logically speaking, they should be fine. Maybe even then nothing would stand in the way of him finding someone else. Maybe even his partner, if that's what he wanted. He wouldn't be wondering 'what if.'

She finished in the bathroom and found he'd left the room, a note saying that he'd meet her for breakfast at the place they met yesterday. I suppose there was nothing left to say about all this. They finally got what they'd wondered about for years. She crumpled the note up and gathered her things, taking them down to the front desk and checking the bag. She'd come and get it before they went to the Embassy. She meandered around the streets, making her way slowly to the café.

That evening she'd slept through the night and it was partly because of him. I suppose it didn't matter. She didn't want to ruin anything they may have…had. The friendship and connection. Don't get too close, she'd warned Ducky, after Somalia. _The ones who get close wind up dead_. That was a fact. She couldn't do this to him. She steeled herself and sat down at the café, ordering their breakfast. A few minutes later, he showed up, waxing on about Paris. It seemed he wanted to talk about it, the references to her sleeping comfortably. She just smiled and shrugged it off. They had work to do. Couldn't let personal things get involved.

A few days later, in D.C., she found him waiting for her by her hotel after she returned from a run, breathing deep as she came to a stop by him. "We have to stop meeting like this," she drawled. There was a time he used to stake out her hotels. She smirked, her hands going to her hips. "What are you doing here?"

He looked around, seemingly nervous, and then removed something from his pocket, passing it over to her. "My favorite photo. The only one with someone in it." The image looking up at her was from a postcard stand, he'd snapped her picture when she wasn't looking. She smiled and he smirked. "I think it's very French New Wave."

"It would look better in black and white," she said, passing it to him, still smiling. She looked around, still not used to being able to speak to him without the threat of someone watching. They both stood together for a moment before she laughed. "It is fine Tony. We have…a friendship. I do not want anything to ruin it."

"Me either," he said quietly.

She smirked, her hands going into the pockets of her workout jacket. "It was fun," she said.

He laughed, moving closer to her. "Yeah, it was." His tongue ran over his teeth. "When are you going back to France?"

"Tomorrow." Then she would be going to Spain. Rota, Spain. There was something there that Vance wanted her to start looking into. He'd made sounds about her going to work with a CIA liaison on a big NCIS case. Travel would be involved. Something to take her mind off of everything. She had to return to the States to take her test soon, her naturalization test. She was very excited and had been studying for months. Even in Paris, Tony made fun of her for wanting to memorize the entire Constitution.

He nodded, reaching towards her. She let him, smiling as his arms looped around her waist, pulling her against him. "We'll always have Paris," he drawled, still smiling at her in that cocky way of his. It did not even bother her anymore. If anything it just made her smile.

"How long have you been waiting to say that?"

"Since we left."

She chuckled, reaching up to his face and lightly kissed him. The memories of Somalia that haunted her dreams had faded daily, leaving her with vague nightmares and restless sleep. That night had been a turning point and she wasn't sure why. She felt safe. Maybe that was it. No matter what though, she'd treasure it. If anything, they diffused a certain tension that had been simmering since Ari shot Kate. Now maybe they could move on, they could just be friends. "I will miss you, but will see you soon," she said, kissing him again.

He kept her closer against him, breaking the kiss a few seconds later. " _Here's looking at you kid_."

And with that, she thought, grinning, she let him go, watching as he tipped his fingers to his temple and silently saluted her, turning on his heel to walk away, leaving her standing in place in front of the hotel. She waited a few minutes, in case he turned around, but he didn't. So she turned and went into the hotel to prepare for her flight to Spain. They'd see each other again.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: My least favorite season is season eight and this chapter addresses moments from then. As a result, I'm not happy with it. Either way, the next chapter I am looking forward to writing more. Enjoy and thank you for the reviews so far.**

* * *

 _November 2010_

"So." Tony surveyed Ziva, who was seated in McGee's desk, after McSleepy had almost passed out at his desk writing up after-action reports and Gibbs allowed him the rare benevolence of letting him go home to shower, shave, sleep, and then return at the crack of dawn to finish. He arched his eyebrows, watching her as she swayed lightly in the swivel chair. He narrowed his eyes at her. "How'd it go?"

"Go?"

The talk she inevitably had to have had with her father. Then again, talking with fathers wasn't the easiest thing in the world. They shared that in common. McGee wondered how the two of them could stand to be around each other, since they were like opposite sides of a coin. He thought of something his mother said once, when he was a little boy, when he complained how come she married Senior since they weren't at all alike. _Sometimes couples are like opposite sides of a coin for a reason Tony. You realize both sides do make up the whole coin, right?_ He hadn't thought of it like that. Thought of it now. They both responded similarly to the strife with their dads. They shut down, found ways of blocking it out. Hers was to internalize and then focus on something else with 100% gusto. While his was more internalize and crack jokes.

She lifted her head up a little more, from where she'd been playing with her cell phone. He wasn't sure what she was waiting on, since she hadn't left for the airport. Whatever she was doing in Europe she'd been tight-lipped about. As she also had been about a mysterious someone special, who he'd only heard little whispers about the past couple months. "Texting your boyfriend?" he asked.

"Jealous?"

"No, just wondering who I need to send sympathy cards to," he teased.

She smirked; finishing whatever she was texting, shoving her phone into one of the many pockets of her cargo pants. He missed those baggy things. Kate always wore sleek pantsuits and dresses with heels. Very put together she was, unless she was threatening to kill him or a suspect. Ziva always looked like she'd rolled out of bed, but in a sexy way. Except in the past couple years he'd noticed she'd started losing her wild Mossad ways, the feral cat like attitude and behavior transforming into more domesticated housecat. Was most likely planning your death like the feral cat, but was less obvious about it and more calculated. "Sympathy?" she retorted.

"Well yeah, I mean he's trying to date you."

She laughed. He was getting into really dangerous territory here. They didn't speak about their personal lives. Not like this. They stayed in touch, they had phone calls, they instant messaged each other, and yes, she popped into town now and then. They refrained from doing anything further than dinner and the occasional kiss. She hadn't said anything when he didn't go to her US citizen swearing-in ceremony, despite her quiet invitation. He had been working on an assignment for Sec Nav. "And what about you?" she murmured.

"What about me?"

"Are you seeing anyone?"

No, he thought instantly. Except he couldn't say that to her, not right now. Not knowing that she was dating someone. He shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. "I see women."

"Ah, multiple women."

"Yes, multiple women. Not all at the same time, but maybe." He arched his eyebrow at her smirk. "What? You don't think women would date me?"

"Oh…I think women would…date you. Just once." She held her finger up, like he didn't know what 'once' meant. She grinned, spinning back into the chair again. Her eyes didn't break from his. He didn't trust the mischievousness in her eyes, although he was glad to see it there. "Well I hope you…you find the right one Tony."

This was getting too personal for him. At least, personal in a way he didn't want to get. He glanced up at the balcony, towards Vance's office. There had been a lot going on the past few days. The Israelis came to town, there was an attack on Vance…he was recovering but it had been close there. Eli had been injured. Now Eli was headed back to Tel Aviv, the Israelis were leaving NCIS to clean up their mess as per usual, and Gibbs was going to be acting director for all of three minutes before someone figured out that was a terrible idea. "So," he said.

"So."

Now what did they do? He ran his tongue over his teeth again. "You talk to your…" he trailed off, arching an eyebrow. "Abba?" That's what it was in Hebrew, right? Father?

The dark eyes he normally could read very well shuttered. Figured. She pursed her lips. She tapped her fingertips against the edge of McGee's desk. "I…I spoke with him…very briefly. He is returning to Israel."

"I know," he whispered. He lifted his eyebrows again, eyes widening slightly. "I escorted him to the airport." She wasn't in the car. To his knowledge they had had a conversation prior to Eli leaving. She was her usual shut-off self. The relationship she had with Eli rivaled in dysfunction only to his relationship with his father. At least he knew what to expect of his father, whereas Ziva never knew what Eli was going to throw at her or how he would behave. And my dad never left me in a desert to die, he thought. Or put me in a situation where I had to kill my brother. Or trained me to be a ruthless assassin.

She leaned back in the chair. "McGee's desk is very clean," she said.

"Yeah, he's a cute little OCD freak like that. So how did it go with your dad?" He wanted an answer. Even if she told him to shove it, he wanted her to actually say it. Right now she was just pretending nothing was happening.

"It went like it went," she snapped. She got up from the desk, gathering her coat. Okay, we aren't talking about this. She walked over to him and leaned against Kate's desk, rapping her knuckles on it. "Where did Kate go?"

"She went to the hospital to relieve one of the other agents on the security detail for Vance."

"Oh." She moved to sit more on the desk, probably now that she knew Kate wasn't going to be back for awhile. Her hands folded in her lap. She stared down at them. Are you just going to sit there, he wondered. He leaned back farther in his chair, propping his feet up on the corner of his open desk drawer, watching her. The dark curly hair he remembered vividly felt like silk when wrapped around his hand was pulled tight back in a straight ponytail. She was as composed as she always looked. Except her mind was probably all over the place. He cocked his head a little, waiting on her to say something. "He…" She immediately paused. Her eyes closed. "My father…is…not an easy man."

"Yeah," he whispered, his gaze fixing on hers. "My father isn't one either. They tend to be like that."

"My father…trained me." She crinkled her eyes up with her slight smile. "He trained all of us…his personal assassins. The thing is…we all have choices and free will. Ari chose to reject my father. Eli created him, but in the end Ari chose his side." She paused again. Her voice dropped further. "Just like I chose to stay and join the _kidon_."

"You did not choose to be left there," he began, immediately knowing where she was going with this. Rather than blame her father she was going to blame herself. Damnit. He hated Eli David.

She held her hand up, stilling him. His feathers were still ruffled. "Let me finish. I may have chosen to stay, to do what my father trained and wanted me to do, but you are right. In the end he chose to just leave me because that it how he would have done with anyone. His daughter or otherwise. I always knew my father placed Mossad and the State of Israel over his family. We were taught that as children. We did not disagree, that was how it was, except sometimes…" She trailed off again and looked at her hands, whispering. "I chose this life Tony. My father gave me the tools, but I chose to use them. He is returning to Israel and I will miss him, because at the end of the day he is my father and he is all I have left."

At the end of the day that was what mattered. "I love it when my father leaves," he said. He smiled at her surprised look. He shrugged. "But you're right. He's my dad. Our relationship is just better when there's distance between us. Maybe one day it will be different." He said that more for her benefit than because he believed it would be true for him. Senior would never change. Just like Eli David probably would never change either.

She chuckled, her hands still folded in her lap. "Well I am done talking about this," she signed hard. She flashed a quick smile. "Drink?"

"How about a bottle?" He swung his feet down from the desk, grabbing his things. He slung the backpack over his shoulder, walking out with her. "So who is this boyfriend?"

"I will never tell," she drawled.

"Where do you go now?"

"Spain."

"Fancy."

"Eh, we'll see." She took her car keys out, dangling them in front of his face, grinning at his eyeroll. "I'm driving."

"I'm dead," he groaned, the doors closing on them as she laughed.

* * *

 _May 2011_

"Where is she!?" Tony threw his backpack down on the floor, charging at Barrett, whose chin was lifted in defiance, standing her ground as he bore down on her for answers. His heart felt like it was going to pound straight out of his chest. He could barely breathe. All he knew was that she was gone, there was a serial killer who had her, and no one was telling him anything.

E.J. stared up at him. "We're working on it Tony. This…this Agent David? Is she a friend? Here, have some water."

"I can't have water right now!" He knew how this looked. They all knew he had been sleeping with E.J. for the past couple months. Their relationship status was ambiguous at best. They'd never spoken about what might become of it, he expected she wasn't interested in the long term commitment thing which honestly was part of the appeal of sleeping with her, but right now he could hardly think of that. He began to pace, shouting for someone to tell him something. Give him anything, something to figure out where she was.

"We're working on it DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked.

I know, I know, he thought, dropping into his chair and pushing his head into his hands. There was just so much at stake here right now. "I just…Gibbs if he's got her," he said, unable to finish. E.J.'s team was all but gone, one of her teammates dead and the other fighting for his life. Trent Kort was missing an eyeball. The SecNav was all but done with his tenure. And Mike Franks was dead. Kate had had a run-in with the Port-to-Port Killer and was sporting a white bandage on her head, where he'd knocked her out as she stood by Gibbs's house waiting on him and Franks. Then there was E.J., who was still shaken. He'd tried to calm her down, but she was hell-bent on revenge.

Just like he would be if anything…again, he couldn't bring himself to think about it. CI-Ray was nowhere to be found. The smarmy agent had disappeared after he'd initially popped up in town, Ziva not far after him. She was dating him, apparently, after they met in Spain. He'd never told her that he was working the same case. She'd said she was leaving, going back to her hotel to grab some things and she would be on the next flight to France, where she had another assignment waiting for her. All he'd said was "have a nice flight." He wanted her away from this for other reasons, not just that there was a murderer on the loose.

He pushed out of his chair, sending it flying back into the file cabinet behind him. "Tony!" E.J. exclaimed.

"I'm fine!" he shouted. He made eye-contact with Kate, who said nothing, turning back to her computer. She knew. They all did and he didn't want to explain it to E.J. He turned around and faced his girlfriend, if that's what she was. "It's just different."

E.J. narrowed her eyes as she tried to read him. "We'll get her back," she finally said, by way of providing comfort.

Yeah, I know, we will. If I have to hunt down Cobb myself and kill him with my bare hands, we will get her back. He pulled open his desk drawer, removing the favorite photo from Paris. He stared down at it. Happy times, he thought darkly. He dropped it back into the drawer and slammed it shut, angry. Angry with himself for one. "I should have taken her back to her hotel room," he mumbled. He was just relieved she was leaving. For selfish reasons. Ziva did not get along with E.J. He was mad at her for never telling him about CI-Ray. He hated CI-Ray. He hated this case. He was just…just mad. She said she was going back to her hotel, she would try to get in touch with Ray to find out what all he still had on Cobb that the CIA was not sharing, and then she would be on her way back to France.

It was too late now. He raked his hands through his hair again, his fingertips gripping at the back of his head, his eyes shut tight. He felt a hand lightly touch at his shoulder and flinched, looking back up at E.J., who was looking at him with the concern a girlfriend might give her boyfriend. He felt Gibbs eyeing him and shrugged her away, getting out of his chair and walking around his desk, leaving the squad area. He needed air. Just…just to get out of there for a minute. He walked around the corner and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and taking a few breaths.

"I know you think you're trying to help E.J., but Tony and I have been partners for almost nine years now. When he gets like this, it's best to leave him alone."

He frowned, opening his eyes and looking up. Kate was talking pretty loud if he could hear her all the way around the corner of the squadroom. He stepped to the side, hearing a response. It was E.J. and she sounded pissed. "I didn't ask you for your advice Kate, but thanks anyway."

"No, I'm serious. It's different with this one."

This one? What did Kate mean by that? He pressed himself farther against the wall, hoping they didn't catch him. E.J. snapped at her. "And what's that supposed to mean? She's an NCIS agent just like we are, we are doing all that we can to find her. McGee said he was working on something Cobb said, something about Samson and there was horse oil or something..."

Kate interrupted her. "It's different with this one Barrett." She chuckled. "Tony never told you about Ziva David, did he?"

Barrett's voice did not give away any feelings of jealousy or upset, which was pretty good on her, he thought. Then again, E.J. hid her true feelings behind false bravado and sarcasm. Probably why they got along so well. "Tony didn't have to tell me anything, I worked with Ziva in Rota, Spain. She was the NCIS go-between with CIA for us. She's a good agent."

"Hmm….you know she's former Israeli Mossad?"

"Yeah and she killed the guy who shot you, I do my research Agent Todd."

"Do you also know that she and Tony remained in contact after they met?"

"What do you mean?" There it was, he thought, closing his eyes briefly. He wanted to walk around the corner just then. Kate had no business doing this. She was being the big sister, who didn't like little brother's new girlfriend. She was also pissed that Gibbs and their team didn't get the case and E.J.'s got to continue working it. If Gibbs didn't like someone, Kate didn't like them either. E.J.'s voice, the slight hesitation in her question, betrayed her personal feelings.

"What I mean is, when we needed to talk to Mossad, we went to Tony who went to Ziva. They have a connection."

Okay, I've had it, he thought, getting ready to walk around the corner, when Barrett let out a laugh. "What is this, high school? I don't care if they used to be a thing…it means nothing to this investigation. Tony is upset that a co-worker…"

"She's not a co-worker to him and the sooner you understand that, the sooner you can help him when we find Ziva." Kate paused. "We should get back. I just thought you should know what you're dealing with here."

"Well thanks," Barrett said, snapping. She had a point, he thought. Kate had been super bitchy, but she was just being protective. She stormed away and he moved closer to the wall, peeking around it.

Kate was standing there, watching him, her eyebrow arched. She smirked at him as he gave up hiding and walked towards her. "We'll find her," she said, the smirk fading into a furrowed concern. She shook her head, her voice soft. "He's playing with us Tony, you know that as well as I do. The profile holds. He's escalating, yes, but while he intended to kill Franks to get to Gibbs, he's not going to do it with Ziva. It serves no purpose for him to kill her right now. She's a distraction from his ultimate endgame. We find out what that is…"

He interrupted her. "I don't care." As nice as it was to know that Kate had it all figured out, that they'd find Cobb and kill him or put him in jail, however it ended, he didn't care. He wanted Ziva back. He wanted her safe. Her old life may have had her preparing for an early out in life, but she wasn't in that world any longer. She worked for NCIS and it was dangerous, but this was not how Ziva David should go out. She'd go out guns blazing, not the victim of a deranged serial killer.

"We got something!" McGee shouted.

He almost knocked Kate down, flying around the corner and immediately attempting to compose himself. Gibbs pointed to the elevator. "Go! It's an old stable in Virginia."

I don't even know how you figured it all out, he thought, grabbing his gun and badge from the drawer, hurrying after Gibbs. They spend through Virginia, the car not even at a complete stop as he jumped out, Kate hissing at him to stay back, they didn't know what they were walking into. He stayed silent, following Gibbs's lead. He wasn't an idiot. This may have been about finding a friend, but he wasn't going to forget all of his training. Just hold on Ziva, he thought, holding his breath as they surrounded the old stables, edging in one by one.

In the corner he heard rustling and the muffled sounds of someone yelling, quickly moving around the corner as Kate took the first check. "I've got her!" she yelled.

"Clear!" McGee shouted from outside. He ran into the stables. "No one's here."

Ziva, he thought, running around the corner and finding her on the ground in a stack of hay, Kate cutting through the zip-ties holding her wrists together, the tape that had been over her mouth thrown onto the ground. "He's gone," Ziva exclaimed, gasping for breath. She shook her head, her eyes bloodshot and her hair wild around her face. "I went to Ray's apartment to tell him what we had and see what else he knew when Cobb grabbed me. I don't know what he's doing, he just dumped me here and left..."

His eyes locked onto hers as Gibbs ran out to make a phone call. Kate moved away from her and left the two of them sitting there. He picked up her wrists and rubbed at them, getting the blood flowing back into the bruised skin. "You freaked out McGee, he was crying and…and so upset," he said, trying to make light of what was happening. He also realized how stupid he must have looked, practically hurling himself at her. She was just a friend, he told himself, lifting his eyes up to hers.

Tears were shining in her eyes. They wouldn't fall, not in front of all of them, as she was too well-trained for that, but she had almost been killed. Been in the custody of a lunatic. She reached for him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm fine," she whispered, rubbing at his back. "I'm fine."

"I told you, McGee was so freaked out. What would we have done without you, I mean…who would we make fun of all the time?" He pulled back and wiped at her face. There were sticks of straw in her hair. He plucked a few of them out, standing slowly and helping her up to her feet. They would have time to talk later, but they had to get back to the office and figure out what was going on now. "Come on, you okay to walk?"

"I am fine," she said, closing her eyes and wincing as she lifted her hand to the back of her head. "He hit me hard, but…don't think he broke the skin."

As they walked to the car, he checked her scalp. "No, he didn't break the skin, you're not bleeding, but Ducky is going to look at you to be safe."

"No I am fine."

"Cobb's loose!" Gibbs bellowed, jumping into the car. "Back at the office! Let's move!"

They both forgot all about her head injury and ran to their cars, Kate driving this time, spinning away and down the dirt road, racing back to the office.

* * *

A few days later, he hadn't spoken to E.J., other than to tell her that she had to figure things out, and she agreed. She said she was going to go be with her parents and left. He wasn't sure if they'd stay in touch. They said they would, but…he didn't know. They weren't meant to be permanent, never were. It was just fun between coworkers. He left her at the elevator, turning around and walking back to his desk, finding someone was already in it.

"Where did E.J. go?" she asked.

"She's taking a bit of a break from NCIS for awhile."

"Hmm…and Kate?"

"The new Sec Nav called her upstairs. Not sure what that's all about." He leaned on the edge of his desk, watching her for a few minutes. He smiled quickly. "So what are you going to do now? Go find CI-Ray?"

The eyeroll he got was probably answer to that question. She followed it with: "No, I do not believe I will be speaking to him for some time. We are…cooling it out."

He squinted at her, his nose wrinkling. That could be a few things. "Um…cooling off or…airing it out? I don't know which one you want."

"Cooling off works I suppose." She fiddled with her fingers, shaking her head and lifting her eyes to his again, her voice soft. "When Cobb grabbed me, I thought perhaps that was it. I have prepared myself for death many times, but this was the first time…" She didn't finish. This was the first time you were scared of it; he finished silently. This was deep stuff. Ziva admitting fear. She looked at her hands again. Her throat constricted and she cleared it, the scratching sound breaking the silence in the dark squadroom. "It doesn't matter. It's over and he is dead and the people whose lives he ruined can finally start to move on."

Spoken like someone who wanted to put the past behind her as well. He glanced at Kate's empty desk. Weird that Sec Nav would give her an assignment, he wondered if Gibbs knew about it. He glanced at her again, leaning in and taking her hands into his once more. There were still angry red marks where the zip ties had been pulled. He ran his thumb over her wrist. A tiny smile tugged on his lips when he felt the pulse under the thin skin quicken. "You shouldn't be alone tonight," he said.

That came out wrong, he immediately thought, pursing his lips and looking up as he thought it through in his head. Meanwhile, she laughed, her lips pulling back over her teeth in a sly grin. "You do not want me alone?" she cooed.

"Uh…what I meant to say…" He stood quickly, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn't know what was going on with E.J. Could be over. Could probably not be over, who knew. She was in the same space with CI-Ray. "What I meant to say was actually that…you probably shouldn't go back to your hotel room."

"So where should I go?"

"Well since Kate probably isn't going to offer you a room and since I have no space in my apartment because well you know, I don't like guests, uh…" he trailed off and shrugged again, smiling and rolling his eyes theatrically. "Uh I suppose…you could…maybe…sleep on my couch. It's all yours. I won't kick you out the minute the sunlight comes up either."

She laughed, getting to her feet. Her hands patted his shoulders. "Tony I thank you for your…" she searched for a word, laughing as he grinned. "Hospitality, if that is what you could call it, but I am fine. One of the things I did while I was here was get another apartment for when I come back. Sleeping in hotels in a city that is supposed to be my home seems wrong somehow."

"Ah, so where is this new apartment?"

"It is in Georgetown, like my old apartment was." She grabbed her backpack, slinging it over her shoulder. He did the same, figuring Kate could take care of herself. McGee had gone home to shower and sleep, he said, and no one knew where Gibbs had gone. He followed her to the elevator, stepping in and leaning against the back. She leaned forward and hit the button for the first level, falling back to lean beside him. "You were worried about me," she murmured.

Where was this going? He cleared his throat, shifting a bit in his boots. "Uh…yeah, well you know…we all were. Even Kate."

She snorted. "I doubt that."

"Hmm…you'd be surprised." Mostly he thought Kate didn't want to have to deal with another agent who he trusted as much as he trusted her. He glanced at her as she stepped forward. "What are you dong?" Oh man. The elevator thudded to a stop, the lights dropping and then the emergency ones flicking on. He lifted his eyes to the ceiling and dropped them down to her. "Okay, so we're doing this."

"Doing what?"

He gestured to the elevator. "This." What was she up to? There wasn't anything else to say. Everything turned out okay. The bad guy was dead, the sort of bad guys with the CIA were back in the wind like they usually were, and the team was safe. Back to live another day, solving crimes and protecting the US Navy. Yes, he was glad she was safe, but it wasn't like how Kate was talking to E.J. earlier. He cared about her. She was his friend. A friend who he had a connection with. Who somehow popped up in his life when he most wanted her there and at the same time wished she'd never been around to begin with.

She moved towards him, dropping her backpack onto the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her chin dropped into the crook of his neck. "When Cobb grabbed me I thought…I thought that was it and it was all over." She sighed, her breath tickling his ear. "And I thought of Mike Franks, after he died…I am so tired of death, Tony. It follows me. I wish it would just all be over some days."

What was she talking about? His grip around her tightened, his arms around her waist. "I missed you." Whether that was when she was missing or…or all this year, he couldn't answer. Just that when she was around it seemed like things were better. The family as together, he figured. He rested his cheek to her soft dark hair, smiling to himself. This was actually really nice. It was rare when she was still. Right now she was very still. Almost too still, he thought, frowning slightly and pulling back, his hand going to rest against her cheek.

She pressed her face against his palm, closing her eyes as tears trickled out. "Hey," he murmured. This was new. He dropped his forehead to hers, whispering. "It's okay. It's all over now."

"There is so much death," she said. A hiccup had her jumping a little in place. She shook her head quickly, tears falling down her face. She ran her fingers beneath her nose, hiccupping again, fighting them back. "I am so tired of it!"

"We got him," he said. That should count for something. "It's over Ziva. It's done, we can go back to normal now."

"And there will be another! There will be another and another and another!" She wiped at her eyes, furious. At herself or at him, he couldn't tell. He let go of her as she grabbed at her backpack again, slamming into the back wall of the elevator. "It doesn't matter. I just…I'm really tired. I should just go home right now…I have a long flight tomorrow."

Wait…what? "You're leaving?" he whispered.

"Yes, I am leaving. I'm returning to France. Vance wants me in Marseilles."

I guess we'll never actually be in the same place at the same time again, he thought, reaching forward and flicking the switch, sending the elevator rumbling back to life, the bright lights blinding him momentarily. When he blinked back to reality, the doors were open and she was striding away. Guess that's it then. He stepped out after her, calling out. "Ziva! Where are you going? Come back!"

"I will see you later Tony!" She turned around, her face still pink from the tears. She lifted her hand in a silent wave. "We will be in touch!"

What was that supposed to mean? Damnit. There were always questions with her. Every time he thought they could maybe be on the same…astral plane as it were, she was running off somewhere else. He watched her disappear into her rental car, the taillights blinking for a few seconds before she peeled out of the parking lot. Guess that was it then. He watched the empty road for a few more minutes, just letting his mind go blank. After another minute, he turned around to go to his car, his phone vibrating with a text message in the back pocket of his jeans. He fumbled for it while he unlocked the car, glancing at the screen.

I really should get one of those fancy phones like McGee has, he thought, trying to read the text on the tiny screen. He lifted it up, beneath the lamppost, and scanned the message. There were two. The first was from Kate, telling him she would be busy for a few weeks and to not bother her. The second was from Ziva. He had to read it twice to finally get what it meant.

 _You can pick me up at the airport next week. Rule #12 goes back into effect._

"She's coming back," he whispered. His eyes widened at the text. "She's coming back!"

"DiNozzo what are you doing?"

He whipped around, seeing Gibbs in his car, watching him. How did he sneak up so quietly in a car? "Uh…hey Boss. Going home? Long day. Long…year." He held up his phone, eyes widening. "Ziva's coming back!"

"Uh-huh."

"Where's she going to sit?"

"Dunno."

"Oh…well okay." He smiled again. "This is going to be fun. Right Boss?"

Gibbs only narrowed his eyes at him. "Rule #12." He rolled his eyes. "Not like you follow it anyway." Then he turned to look forward, the Dodge Charger roaring away, a blur of taillights and screeching tires. Well okay then, Tony thought. He smiled down at his phone and shoved it into his pocket. Something to look forward to. They hadn't had a lot of that around here in awhile. He ran his tongue over his teeth. Well then, okay. This could be good. He sent back a text to her.

 _McGee will be so happy you're coming back. He's crying tears of joy._

He tossed the phone into his car, climbing in and smiling to himself. Yes…this could be really good, he thought, nodding. Time to change things up.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I hope people are sticking with this story. There are only I think probably three or four more chapters left. After that I'm not sure. I may just keep writing one-shot fluffy fics since that's what I like doing. and if I keep writing about a happy Tony, Tali, and Ziva then maybe the show will actually show it? Ha, I can dream. Enjoy this update!**

* * *

 _February 2012_

There were very few things Ray had in her apartment, mostly because she did not let him stay there often. When he came to D.C., they usually stayed in his hotel. She supposed you could make an argument about that being a flaw in their relationship, about how they were not meant to be. Come to think of it, they always did do whatever he wanted or go wherever he happened to be. Florida, Switzerland, the Caribbean…wherever Ray was, he wanted her to drop everything and join him. And she did that. Dropped her life and went to Ray. Did not answer her phone until he convinced her to listen to him. Stood her up, because he was too busy murdering an innocent woman.

She rifled through her sock drawers, looking for any sign of him. There was nothing. A toothbrush, which she tossed into the sink, along with a razor, some aftershave, and a pair of his socks she located in her laundry basket. She swiped a bottle of bourbon from the shelf in her pantry, wondering how it got there as she did not traditionally drink liquor at home, and took a few swigs of it before dumping it into the sink. The final touch, she thought, striking a match. She watched it burn for a few seconds before she dropped it into the basin. The flames shot up, not as dramatic as she would have preferred, but probably because there was not much fuel there. The aftershave, maybe, and the bourbon, but there wasn't a lot to actually burn.

It was still satisfying.

She glanced up at the smoke detector in the hallway beside her, watching the spirals make their way up. "Ben Kelev," she swore. She jumped up onto the counter and detached it, angrily yanking at the battery.

"You know that's a misdemeanor, purposefully detaching smoke detectors in public dwellings. Could get you cited."

The surprise at hearing another voice, least of all his voice, startled her and she stumbled a bit on the counter, yelping as the floor made its way up to her as she pitched forward. She beat her hands to stay balanced, glaring angrily at Tony in her doorway. "You could have killed me!"

"Consider it payback for all the heart attacks you've given me just jumping around." Tony closed her front door. She scowled at him, wondering what he was doing there. They left the building with Detective Burris and he made sure the Detective got home okay, still looking out for the other man's welfare. Maybe he saw something in Burris that reminded him of him, she had no idea. She was glad he went somewhere else, as nice as their conversation at been in the squad room, as nice as it was to call him her friend and have Burris give them wordly advice on caring for each other, Tony's expression when the other man had said that scared her a bit. She was also scared at her reaction.

She had felt something in that conversation with Tony that she had not felt in a very long time and it…it scared her. Now he was here in her apartment. "What are you doing here?" she demanded. She pointed to her door. "And why did you open that door?"

"You're as bad as Gibbs, leaving it unlocked like that."

"I can kill anyone who walks in."

"Yeah, I was taking my life into my hands." He dropped a six-pack of beer onto the counter, pointing to it. "Had to go to three different beer stores to find this stuff. Do you know how hard it is to find Gold Star in D.C.?"

"Gold Star tastes like shit."

"Yeah, but it's a taste of your home."

He was right there. Eli David kept strictly kosher and that included no alcohol. She rebelled in her teen years when they were out of that environment and yes, she had gotten plenty drunk as a teen on the Israeli-brand beer. She smiled at the six-pack and lifted a bottle out, tossing it in her hand. She lifted her gaze to him. "You just went to three different stores to find Israeli beer and come to my home uninvited?"

"I didn't want you to be alone."

"I am fine, Tony. I told you I would be fine."

"Yeah, well looks like you're turning into a pyromaniac." He turned on the faucet, the water washing away the ash and dregs of the small fire she'd produced in her sink. He chuckled. "I always thought of Kate as the one who would burn her ex-boyfriends things."

"I am sure you have been the subject of many boyfriend bonfires over the years Tony."

"No, my ex-girlfriends just trash me on the Internet."

"Of course they do." She did not want him here. Not when she was feeling as humiliated and embarrassed as she was. Ray had lied to her, he'd lied to everyone, and he had murdered an innocent woman. He had used her, tried to manipulate her, and in the end he wanted her to forgive him. To be the man she fell in love with. She thought she was in love with him. She thought she was in love with Michael. Both of the men in her life who she had been serious with, had considered possible marriage and children and a future…they had betrayed her. Just like Eli David did. Just like Ari.

She sipped the beer, filling it warm her stomach. It was a taste of home. Memories of her youth. She was not sure she wanted to have those right now. "Thank you for fixing my phone," she said, unsure what to say to Tony. She was acutely aware of his presence in her small apartment.

"Sure."

"Did Detective Burris get home safely?"

"He's fine." Tony walked around to join her on her couch, leaning back. He leaned closer to her, his voice soft, comforting her. "He'll be okay. He's a tough guy."

"I feel…horrible for him."

"So does everyone, but…could have happened anywhere. His wife was involved in a lot of things, went to a lot of dangerous places…could have been hit by a car on the street." Tony was trying to make her feel better. It did only minimal to make her feel better. He leaned a little closer, whispering. "I know how bad you felt when Ray stood you up at the restaurant."

"I do not want to speak of it ever again." Her back went rigid and straight. They both remained on the couch, drinking their beer. When she finished, he got up and retrieved the six-pack. This was a weak beer. It was not going to do what she wanted to do. Forget. The bottle of bourbon fell down beside the six-pack. She lifted her head up to him. "Thanks."

"Works for Gibbs."

She kept with the beer for now. "Why are you here Tony?" she whispered. It broke their comfortable silence. They could continue drinking or they could talk about what he was doing here. This was out of the normal for him.

"I told you. I didn't want you to be alone."

"Would you do this for Kate?" She arched her eyebrow at his startled look. It wasn't because they were co-workers or partners. He wouldn't do this for Abby. Maybe McGee but that was a guy thing. This was not a guy thing. This was because they had shared something over the years and it got deeper and deeper with each passing year. They'd even slept together. She closed her eyes briefly. "If this is about us…"

"It's not. It's about the fact that we are friends. That we were friends before you were NCIS. Call it whatever you want, contacts, sources, whatever, but we were friends." Tony paused and shrugged, his voice dropping even further, to a hushed whisper. "We're more than friends. We're more than partners. Call it what you want."

This was very out there, even for him. Could have been the alcohol. She turned her head, staring at him. He was just looking at her, unblinking. She grabbed the bourbon, sipping it for a few seconds. She closed her eyes. Could he have done this any other time? "Tony," she murmured.

"What?"

There was so much between them. From contacts to sources to friends to lovers and all in-between. She wasn't his partner right now. She was still in a strange limbo-like state, because Kate hadn't left for the job in Georgia she had interviewed for and gotten. She was still on the team, but when she wanted to do temporary assignments at FLETC or moonlight as a profiler for the FBI, that's when Ziva David showed up. Otherwise she was relegated to a desk on another floor, wondering if this was what she left Mossad to do. She left Mossad for a chance to do something different, to remove herself from under her father's thumb, but now…she wondered if she should return. Just for another break. From the embarrassment that Ray had caused her.

She pulled his hand into hers, tugging at his fingers, tracing the lines. Her brain was fuzzy. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and lifted his knuckles up to her lips, kissing it and folded his fingers back in to his palm. "We are friends. You are probably one of the closest friends I have ever had, Tony."

"I'm honored," he said, chuckling. He sat up and moved closer to her, his shoulder bumping against hers. "You'll be okay. I have no doubt that you will come out of this…more of a force than you already are." I sure hope so. She smiled sideways, tears shining in her eyes. He was a good man. For all the clownish and juvenile behavior, Tony had proven to her he was a good man. "And if Ray ever tries to contact you again, I'll take care of him."

She laughed, wiping at her eyes. "Yeah…well…get in line."

"He didn't know what he had," Tony whispered, bumping his shoulder into hers again. He kissed her knuckles. "You'll get it one day Ziva. The whole thing. Family, husband, kids…the works."

As she had said in the squadroom, she believed that day was farther and farther in the distance. She smiled again. "Yes…maybe."

"And you will be happy. Whether you think you are right now or not…you'll be happy and not just content." He kissed her knuckles again and got to his feet, gesturing to the door. "I'm heading out. Enjoy the beer. Call if you need anything."

Wait…she didn't want him to leave yet. "Tony," she called. She got to her feet and nibbled her lower lip as he picked up his coat. He slipped his arms slowly into his coat, smiling slyly at her. She laughed, her hands on her hips. "Did you plan this? The early exit to get me to ask you to stay?"

"Is it working?"

She set her jaw. Son of a bitch. "Yes," she drawled, crossing her arms again. She cocked her head again. "Old times."

"Old times." He took his coat off and reached into the pocket, whipping out a DVD case. "Rear Window. Best Alfred Hitchcock film ever, Psycho is completely overrated for the shower scene alone. Jimmy Stewart at his finest. Has humor, has scariness, voyeurism, murder, everything you need."

"It has Grace Kelly. I love Grace Kelly."

"And look at that, you opened up and shared something I didn't know before. It's like old times already." He cracked open the case and hurried over to the television, which she only had for if he ever visited. Which was almost never, but it got use when he was around. He fell backwards ontot eh couch and she sat beside him, taking another beer to her.

As they began to watch the movie, she leaned in, whispering loudly. "Why are we watching a movie about the back window of a car?"

He groaned, turning up the volume. "Oh you have so much to learn. Keep watching."

She chuckled, moving a little closer to him, her arms wrapping around her stomach. If his job was to get her mind off of Ray, he was somewhat succeeding. This reminded her of the old times, yes, when he would come over once a week and show her a movie, under the pretenses of helping her with her English. They liked each other, but they would never openly admit it. He was annoying. They did not get along, ever, but…they were compatible in some ways. She rested her head on his shoulder, hoping he did not move. To her surprise, he rested his head down against hers, saying nothing.

They enjoyed each other's company as they watched the movie, finishing the six-pack and then the bottle of bourbon. It did nothing to completely wipe her mind of what had happened with Ray, but she did still feel numb. As much as she enjoyed this, she knew she was going to have to talk to Vance. Until Kate left, she would have no official place on the team. She was the big sister to Abby and McGee, the daughter to Gibbs, and the…whatever she was to Tony. NCIS had done its job, but she needed to get out again. This thing with Ray showed her that much. She would speak with Vance in the morning.

Until then, she enjoyed her time with him. Just in case it would go away.

* * *

 _May 2012_

"Ziva! Ziva stop!"

She ignored her friend's shouts for her to stop running away from him as she flung herself through crowds of people in the streets of Jerusalem, hurrying as fast as she could from the café where she'd been having lunch with Adam, when the televisions all began blaring about the terrorist attack in the Navy Yard, against NCIS Headquarters in the heart of Washington, D.C. She'd almost choked on her food, tried to call several times to get hold of someone, anyone, but all the phones were jammed. She needed something, anything!

"Out of the way!" she shouted, pushing through a crowd of tourists from Texas, if their Lone Star t-shirts meant anything. She ran down one of the streets, lined with government buildings, and burst into the glass revolving door of one with no markings, whipping her badge out to show the suddenly frightened and jumping guards at the desk. "Agent Ziva David! NCIS liaison! I need to get upstairs!"

Behind her, she heard Adam shouting that he was Shin Bet and no he did not need a visitor's badge. She jabbed the button for the elevator, trying to call Gibbs again. There was nothing on his phone. "Ziva!" Adam shouted, jumping into the elevator behind her. He pressed at his side, shaking his head hard. "You run fast."

"I could always outrun you." She had known Adam Eschel much of her life, they were in the Army together and while she chose the secret shadows of Mossad, he had stuck to the more open and law-enforcement side of Shin Bet. It made sense for her to get assigned to Shin Bet to be the NCIS liaison, doing threat assessments on the ports and flying back and forth to Jordan and Bahrain and other areas where US Navy and Marine Corps could find themselves. It was just a chance for her to breathe a bit after the Ray debacle and return to Israel for a change of scenery. She did not work with Eli or Mossad if she could help it, but sometimes their paths crossed.

Despite being in Israel for almost six months she had not spoken with her father. Not since his impromptu visit to D.C. the following year. "Ziva," Adam tried again. She hit the button for the top floor, her hands on her hips, impatient. This elevator could go no faster, huh? He reached for her hand, stilling her movements.

"Let go if you value the use of your fingers," she grit out.

Adam let go of her hand, sighing. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Ziva, you know better than anyone after a terrorist attack, the cell phone lines jam immediately, loved ones trying to call in and out of the area, there could be damage to the grid from the explosion…it does not mean that they are…"

"Do not say it!" she exclaimed, lifting her phone back up and trying again. She pressed it to her ear, closing her eyes tight as she got Gibbs's voicemail again. Damnit! She slapped the phone to her side and glanced sideways to him again. Adam looked at her with great concern. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "They are my family."

When Tali was killed the club explosion, she was in Mossad training. She did not know until Eli dropped in on one of their classes. At the time he had only been a low-level director of some programs, had not consolidated the power he was only just becoming exposed to. She was in the middle of marksmenship training, having to shoot a knife out of the hand of a fake terrorist. It was silly, the dummy standing still as she lined her shot. They would begin the more complicated testing later, but it had been so easy. She'd passed with flying colors when the instructor said her father was there to speak with her. She'd gone to see him, happy to see her Abba but upset he felt the need to bother her during training. That's when he told her about Tali. They'd cried together, a father with the only daughter he had left, and a sister sobbing for her sibling. She'd seen the images on the news, in the paper, and the crime scene phones as Eli tried to find the exact perpetrators involved, to bring down the network that chose that club and killed his daughter.

She had felt numb pain and then rage. Rage that filled her to her very soul at who had done it and what she would do to get back at her sister's killers. This was not like that. They were her family, they had been targeted, and she had to get in touch with them, to make sure they were alive. She was more measured right now. Years of training and experience had changed her attitude towards these types of events. To a point. She was frantic to get in touch with them, but right now she did not know what had happened. Harper Dearing was involved, of course it was him, she had been doing threat assessments and traveling to various ships to identify any on board who may sabotage the ship at Dearing's go-ahead.

I should have been there, she thought, leaning against Adam, her voice soft. "I have to talk to them, they're…they're my family," she repeated.

"You will," he said. The elevator doors opened and he followed her out. "Just sit down Ziva. Let's find out what actually happened."

While Adam started running down leads to actually find out casualties counts, get her looped in as her role as an NCIS agent whose home agency was targeted by a mad terrorist, and hopefully get a secure line to Gibbs or Vance, she stared down at her cell phone. She closed her eyes and hit one of the contacts, lifting the phone to her ear. Please pick up, please pick up, she silently begged, closing her eyes tighter and holding her forehead in her palm.

"Hey."

Her knees gave out, surprising her at her own weakness. She sank into a chair and pressed her hand even harder against her forehead. Tears pricked at the corners. You will not cry, she vowed. You will not. Do not do it Ziva. "You are alive," she whispered. She dropped her hand to her lap, where her fingers clenched tight. Her fingernails dug into half-moons in the palm of her hand. The news continued to blare around her. Someone changed the channel, each one talking about the terrorist attack on the United States Navy, at the heart of Washington, D.C. Something that happened too frequently in her birthplace was now happening in her adopted country. Her friends and her…her family…She could only repeat it. "You are alive."

"Yeah, I'm alright. Kate and I are stuck in an elevator."

"You should never take an elevator in an emergency." How could he be so stupid?

"Gee, thanks Mom." His voice dropped. He must have sensed the urgency in her voice, because the sarcasm died instantly and he softened. "We're okay. We're stuck, but we're fine. I mean…it feels like I'm trapped in an oven since the air conditioning is clearly off and I'll probably die of the stink from Kate's perfume…ow!" There was a scuffling and she heard Kate tell him to shut up and be useful, try calling Gibbs if he was getting service in the elevator and stop talking to his girlfriend. He sighed. "It was Dearing."

Of course it was. This meant that Gibbs would not stop until Dearing was dead. It meant things had to be done that she ordinarily would not do. "I will speak to my father."

"Ziva, no," he warned.

It was too late. Whatever she could get her father to do, whatever Mossad contacts he may had, but she would do what she needed to do to help Gibbs kill Dearing. "No, Tony. I have made my decision. I will be on the first flight back. I will contact my father and…and do whatever I need to do. He has gone after my family now."

He chuckled, his voice soft. She imagined him hiding away in a corner of the elevator as far from Kate as possible, his voice so soft she could hardly hear him. "You consider me your family?"

She smiled and ducked her head, keenly aware that Adam was listening. They had always had a fluctuating relationship. No matter where they were, they were always aware of the other's presence. It had only intensified in the last year since she moved back to the United States. "Yes," she murmured, running her tongue over her teeth. The stomach drop she felt at seeing the bombed building on the news a few minutes ago…the idea of not having any of them had stabbed into her with the painful realization that without them she would be lost.

But with him….well, she would have to think about that some other time. Right now she just wanted to make sure he was okay. She had validated that he was safe now. The next up was kill Harper Dearing. If she could help from here while she waited on her flight, fine. She would do what she had to do. They listened to each other's breathing for a few seconds, just verifying to the other that they were there. He chuckled, breaking the silence. "Ziva don't talk to your dad about this. We'll get Dearing, you don't need to put yourself in that position."

"I will be there as soon as possible."

"And when you get here?"

He was fishing for something. She wasn't sure what that might be, but he was fishing. She hugged her arm around herself, her eyes closing. They had both been put in too many positions where they thought the other was dead and each time it had eaten away a little inside of her. "We will…talk," she murmured. There. That was all she could commit to at this moment. She closed her eyes tight. Thank God he was alive, that was all she could think. "You are safe."

"Well I'm stuck between floors three and two, so if this thing plummets to the ground I'll only be slightly injured."

"Do not speak like that!"

"Okay, sorry," he laughed. He sighed again. "Wish you were stuck in this elevator with me. I think Kate's starting to go crazy, she's turning in circles…ow! Stop hitting me!"

"Stop talking about me!" Kate's muffled voice yelled in the background.

She wondered how neither of them had killed each other after practically a decade as partners. Her fingertips came up to rest on her temple, her eyes fluttering shut. It would soon be time for her to get to the airfield. Then she would be in D.C. and she could be there to see if all of them were okay. "Keep me updated," she murmured. "Let me know how everyone is." The images on the screen showed Dearing, the corporate photo, claiming him as the mastermind behind the attack. He was a smart one, pathological, who knew where he would be going now. Gibbs would find him.

"We will. Be safe."

"Always." She waited for him to disconnect the call first, but he didn't. She squinted, her lips pursing. "Goodbye Tony."

"What? You hang up first."

"Oh my God!" Kate yelled in the background. There was an echo, like the elevator shifting. Ziva's eyes widened, hoping it would not in fact plummet to the ground, when there was another scuffle, Kate's voice clearer now, if a bit winded and exasperated. "Listening to the two of you is going to kill me before being trapped in this tin can with DiNozzo will. Do what you need to do, call in all the Mossad favors, but if you're just going to be sitting on the sidelines, why don't you try to find Harper Dearing and get us out of here!"

She smirked. "It is good to hear from you Kate. Do try not to kill Tony. That honor is reserved for me."

"No promises." Then the line did disconnect.

The breath she had been holding escaped from her in a sob as she fell forward over her hands. He was safe. That was one down. She looked at her phone again and dialed Abby. Once she heard Abby's voice, listened to her rail against Dearing and hear that Gibbs was okay and McGee was alive, but she hadn't seen him yet, then Ziva was satisfied. She finished her conversation with Abby and lifted her head up to Adam, who was waiting beside her desk. "What?" she asked.

"Your father will see you now." He paused. "And whoever you were talking to earlier…he's a lucky guy." He flashed a quick smile.

Who, Tony? "He's just a friend," she said. She got up and ignored Adam's snort of derision and steeled herself, approaching her father's practically gilded office. She walked in, ignoring his secretary and stared straight at Eli David's pleasant smile, his fingers steepled in front of his lips. She scowled. "Abba."

"Come in Ziva, I am so glad you are safe."

"I need you to do something before I get on a Navy transport plane." She told him about Dearing, said if he could do what he could that would be…wonderful. He vowed he would. He didn't ask for anything in return. Just that she give him a hug, which she did. Then she left, feeling like it could have been worse and wasn't that just something? She said goodbye to Adam, grabbed her things from the hotel where she had been staying for the last six months and headed straight to the airport, where the plane was waiting.

The flight was awful, turbulence and her mind racing the entire time. She finally shut her eyes for at least a few minutes, but they finally got there, landing at Pax River. The back of the plane lowered down and she walked off, seeing the Charger waiting for her, a familiar person leaning against it. She dropped her bag and went straight into his arms, hugging him tight. "I am so glad you are safe," she mumbled into his shoulder.

"I'm glad you're back," he said. He pulled back, his hands framing her face. It was just them, she thought, smiling as he quickly kissed her cheeks. She kissed him in return, letting go and picking up her bag, throwing it into the backseat. "Gibbs is on a revenge mission."

"Tell me something I didn't figure out a second after the bombing, where are we on the investigation?"

"We tried to smoke him out, but Harper figured it out and killed a bunch of FBI agents in the process. Gibbs is trying a different tactic."

"Well let's go get him."

They ended up watching as Gibbs went out and did not ask questions when he returned and Dearing was found dead. She did not know what happened in the cabin where Gibbs found Dearing and did not want to know. A madman was gone. He was dead and they would not have to have him sit in prison for the rest of his life, espousing his vitriol and inspiring others with his insane revenge agenda. She knew where revenge could get you. Eli David had put his daughter's death on his shoulders, rising to the highest level of Mossad as a means of getting back at those who had killed Tali. While she didn't join Mossad for her sister, she had stayed for it. She would never go there, she thought. Never get that dark, if she could ever help it, and if she did…then she would not take down anyone innocent in the process.

* * *

"Are you going back to Israel?"

They were in Tony's apartment this time, curled up on his insanely small bed. He said it was so no one overstayed their welcome. It was a means of keeping people away. She was the only woman who had ever slept in it, she understood. That had to account for something. "Has Kate ever been to your apartment?" she murmured, her fingers tapping over his collarbone.

He glanced down at her and shrugged. "No. Why do you ask?"

"You've been partners with her for almost a decade. You were trapped in an elevator with her after…after almost dying in an explosion."

"We didn't die."

"Still…that has to change a person. A relationship." She moved and propped her head on her elbow, looking down at him. He stared up at her, unblinking. They both said nothing for a few seconds, until she sighed hard, quiet. "I am glad you are not dead."

That was probably the third time she had said it to him. It was practically their way of saying they cared about the other. He smirked up at her. "I am glad too." He wrapped his arms back around her, pulling her against him. She snuggled closer, her head in the crook of his shoulder. He began to tug on her hair, which she'd pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head. "So are you going back to Israel?"

I don't know anymore. Vance hadn't said anything when she'd shown up and inserted herself into the investigation again. Kate had said she was ready to leave. The Dearing case had burned her. She kissed his jaw. "We shall see," she whispered, still holding onto him. They had kind of fallen into this. They hadn't planned it. Paris was supposed to be a one time thing. Nothing like it would ever happen again. It was Paris after all. The most romantic city in the world, where they were Tony and Ziva and not Agent DiNozzo and Agent David…it was easy to get caught up in the passion and the chemistry.

This had been all about being alive. When Gibbs left to go after Dearing, they hadn't said a word. They'd kept working. Ducky had had a heart attack and she'd gone to make sure he was alright, since she hadn't heard from him. She'd congratulated Palmer on his wedding and sat with Abby. This would affect Abby worse than anyone, she thought, trying to help her get through as best as she could. She checked on McGee, who had shrapnel in his side removed and now sported several stitches. Girls like scars, she'd teased him, saying he would have a nice one to get some attention. It was like nothing was the matter. Until they got word from Gibbs and then everyone began to pack up and leave. Kate said she would see them later and she was going home to sleep forever. McGee and Abby left to get a drink. Jimmy went with Ducky to get Breena from the airport.

And the two of them had just stared at each other before they both got in their separate cars, drove to his apartment, and tackled each other in the entryway, all teeth, tongues, and limbs. They had to feel alive. It was completely common. In the face of death, you wanted to feel alive. They were in Washington, D.C. They were not Tony and Ziva. They were themselves and they were in the real world this time. She moved as close to him as she could which was pretty close since they were on a twin bed. Something she still couldn't get over. "You're such a child," she murmured.

"I rock your world and that's all you have to say to me?"

"Rock my world?" She sat up again and peered down at him, her eyebrow arching. He cocked his head, challenging her with a smirk fo his own. She snorted, pulling the sheets around her. "Maybe rock my Monday."

"Ouch. Well, guess we can try again."

And again and again and again, she thought, laughing. It felt strange to laugh, after all that had happened. She pressed herself against him again, moaning as the kiss deepened, the teasing and laughter disappearing as they grew more urgent and needy. She gasped when he broke the kiss, trailing them down over her shoulder and began to blaze a path over her chest and stomach. There was something in the background, she thought, eyes closed as her fingers gripped the sheets. "Tony," she gasped, eyes closed. The knocking grew louder. "Tony!"

"Hmm….what?"

There was a muffled yell outside of the front door. "Tony! Open this door! I've been standing out here like five minutes!"

They both jumped up, arms around each other, staring at the front door. "Damnit," Tony groaned, grabbing the comforter and wrapping it around him while she swept up her clothes from the floor and tripped into the bathroom to change. He waved his hand at her. "No, no don't get dressed! It's probably my crazy neighbor…" He peered into the peephole, squealing like a little girl. "Or Kate!"

"I can hear you! What are you doing? Open this door!"

"Get dressed!" Ziva hissed at him.

He shook his head and pushed her into the bedroom. "No, I've got an idea." He slammed the door on her, with the order to stay put, and made his way to the front door. Oh God, she thought, leaning against the door. What was he doing? She waited, silent. As hard as it was to admit, Tony wasn't bad at improvising. It was part of why he was so good working undercover. She listened, intent, as he answered the door, acting like nothing was wrong.

"Why are you wearing a comforter? Are those women's boots?"

"Kate you come banging on my door, why are you here anyway? You've never been to my apartment. How do you even know where I live?"

"I'm a trained investigator Tony. I'm here because I thought you should know that I've formally accepted the position in Georgia. Gibbs will announce it tomorrow." She cleared her throat. "Ah…we can talk later, but…thought you might also want to give Ziva a heads up. That makes a permanent spot on the team now."

"Um…sure."

"You could call her."

"I will. That sounds like something Gibbs should do though. Man, I'm going to miss you Kate."

"Sure you will."

"I will!"

"Hmm, we can talk later, your ah…lady friend might be missing you. Nice comforter. I like the plaid."

"Thanks, I spent a lot of time picking it out."

"Uh-huh, I'll see you tomorrow Tony." Kate's voice grew louder. "Bye Ziva!"

Tony stumbled. "Um, what are you…Ziva's not here!"

Then again, he was also terrible at improvising. She shook her head and opened the door, calling out. "Bye Kate!"

A few minutes later, she was back in the bed and Tony was coming back into the room, scowling at her. "What?" she laughed. "I was just improvising." Besides, Kate would keep it to herself. She trusted the other woman at least that much. Tony crawled back into the bed beside her. There was an opening. "We're going to be on the same team again," she whispered. They'd been saying that for almost seven years now. Only this time it looked like it was going to be true.

Means they had to stop this. For good. He nodded, dragging his finger over her shoulder. "Hmm….yeah." He kissed the path he'd traced, shrugging. "We'll deal with it once you're officially on the team."

She sighed, glancing sideways. They were friends. They were people who had now slept together twice. Well, more times than that, but two occasions. She couldn't stop thinking of how she'd felt when she saw the building exploding on the news. The horror and the intense pain in her gut. The relief at hearing his voice. He was alive. He was alive and safe and she had to face what that meant to her in that moment. It wasn't the same as she'd felt when she confirmed Gibbs and McGee and Abby and Ducky were safe. It was different. It was…it was Tony.

They didn't have a long time, she figured, her arms snaking back around him. The morning would come soon enough and she would leave. She didn't want to overstay her welcome. Not when they were going to be partners.


End file.
